The Power to Be the Star You Are!

JANUARY 2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005

“By working together, pooling our resources and building on our strengths, we can accomplish great things." Ronald Reagan Welcome Power Partners to 2005! Hard to believe that another year has ended, yet we all have the same 24 hours in a day every day regardless of who we are! In this new monthly column I will be addressing many of the issues that are posed to me from so many of you around the globe. Although I do my best to respond to everything, I decided to write a short editorial each month to keep you posted on thoughts, ideas, events, and actions that I feel important to us all. In December we all witnessed the horrendous devastation of South Asia with the killer tsunami. As we send our resources and prayers to those in need I am reminded of the words of a great author and speaker, Leo Buscaglia: "There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? Over that I have complete control." At times like these we feel powerless against the forces of nature and fear fills our souls. As an acting coach, one of the things I always teach is that acting is reacting. Every action results in a reaction. It is the law of cause and effect. Life will always throw us curve balls. How we react to them is a choice. We can see our glass as half full or we can see our glass as half empty. I choose full and so can you. In times of sorrow and

pain, reach out to others to make a positive difference. Volunteer at a charity, (Be the Star You Are!™ always is in need) help someone with a challenge, perform a random act of kindness. Ironically the person who benefits most will be you. January is always a time of writing resolutions and goals. Unfortunately within 15 days of writing resolutions, statistics indicate that most people have given up. Let’s do something different this year. Let’s follow through together. Make sure you know the difference between an objective and a goal. An objective can be a statement of what you want to achieve, but a goal has accountability with a timeline. A goal is very specific. (An example is: I will write 200 pages of my book by February 18 and will have it edited and ready for publishing by February 28.) Alan Cohen suggests that instead of noting all the stuff you want to create and achieve in the outer world, focus on who you want to BE and how you want to FEEL within you. I agree with this notion as it fits my motto of BE the STAR you ARE! Remember that life is not about “doing” but about “being”. We are not called “human doings”, we are called “human beings”. Using the example above, how will you feel inside when you have accomplished your goal of writing, editing, and publishing your book? I know for me, I feel humbled and joyful to empower others through the words I write. If I can make a difference in someone else’s life, I have achieved my goals. You can have everything you want if you help enough other people get what they want. Write a marketing plan for your life just as you would for your business.

Marketing expert, Robert Michael Fried encourages us to create a life of meaning by taking the same amount of time, energy, and focus in planning our personal lives as we do in planning our professional lives. Work towards your strengths, not your weaknesses. The result will be more balance, more purpose, and most of all, more happiness. Make money while making meaning. My recipe for personal and professional success involves the following steps which I offer you as a gift to implement into your life. Follow these tips and your life will change for the better. °Dream the Dream (make it larger than life…I call it God Dreams) °Write the plan (yes that means get it out of your head and onto paper) °Get the skills you need (that may mean going back to school, hiring a coach, reading more books) °Go into action (no one is going to knock on your door) °Find a cheerleader (we all need at least one support person) °Believe in yourself and all the possibilities (you are unique, you have a gift) Take a look in the mirror and admire yourself. You are a wonder of creation. Turn your passions into profits and be the star of your own performance. Until next month, celebrate the moment as that is all we ever have. Blessings to you, Cynthia Brian Your personal growth coach

Jury Duty

FEBRUARY 2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005

“Not again!” I sighed when I saw the pink notice informing me that I was called for jury duty the week of Thanksgiving. Since I’d be out of town, I postponed until February 1, all the while hoping that somehow they’d forget about me. No such luck! So here I am writing from the great halls of our legal system surrounded by two hundred other worthy citizens wearing “juror” badges, all waiting to be called. The day didn’t start on a positive note. I can’t afford to be here. Honestly I don’t want to be here. My mind is cluttered with the eighteen items on my “to do” list, all of which have very definite dead lines. “Dead” is the key word here. It doesn’t make me feel empowered. I give myself “timelines” but these are most definitely “deadlines” There was no parking near the courthouse, so I parked in a red zone. A friendly lawyer told me he parks there all the time without receiving a ticket. I put my jury sticker on the windshield anyway. Somehow, my trust in attorneys is not that elevated. I look around me at the numerous other jurors who are sitting, doing absolutely nothing, just staring into space. Waiting. No book, no magazine, no computer, no cell phone. Waiting. Who are these people? Jury duty must be the highlight of their year. I find a chair at the back of the room in a corner, pull out Michael Gerber’s new tome, E-myth Mastery, and begin to read. I must finish this book today so I can properly interview the world’s #1 small business guru on my radio show tomorrow. A smiling clerk announces that we are adjourned for an hour lunch break. I’m not hungry, but a walk might adjust my attitude. Goodness knows my champagne disposition has lost its bubbles. Wow! It’s a glorious day outside. The sun is shining, birds are singing. I drag my bags back to my car parked in the red zone so I don’t have to lug everything downtown. No ticket yet. I have a bit more faith in the lawyer at this moment. People on the sidewalks are cheerful. In fact, everywhere I walk, strangers say ”hello,” “welcome to our town,” “have a great day”. I’m beginning to feel better already. It dawns on me that I’ve been to this city, which is less than an hour from my home, only about three times in my life. Once when I won Outstanding Teenager of California the local newspaper interviewed me. The editor had met me on a camping trip so the story had a folksy personalized angle.	The second time I came with a design client hunting for antiques or slightly used treasures, and the third time was for a 4-H goat demonstration in which my daughter was involved. This is an adorable little town. It’s like Main Street, USA, straight out of the movies. Barbershops with the striped poles, the carved Indian sitting outside a curios store, mothers with babies in strollers and little toddlers waving to the “chu chu trains” passing. The smell of the sea draws me closer to the bay as I walk through a nature preserve. John Muir used to live here. This is a charming area. My mind is clearing, I am most definitely feeling better. A quick glance at my watch tells me it’s time to return to the chambers. My step is bit bouncier now. In fact, I am thinking of friends I haven’t seen in a long time, stories I want to write, people I must contact. There is still no ticket on my car as I retrieve my bag. My seat in the back corner of the room beckons. This is wonderful-my own personal office. Feeling energized, my laptop powered, items on my agenda are completed and crossed off that pesky “to do” list. The hours sail by, the case is dismissed, and I’m back at my car. No ticket! That friendly attorney was telling the truth. My admiration soars for the legal profession. I’m feeling very alive. My timelines are being met. Back in my office I read my emails. Unbelievably the very person I was thinking about while strolling has found me via Google. Jurgen in Sweden, a favorite babysitter when my children were little, re-connected with us today. What serendipity! The night before, while I complained about jury duty, friend, Libby Gill (author of Traveling Hopefully) had encouraged me to “hang in there” instead of crying “hang ‘em high!” Sound advice for an attitude re-arrangement. What we think about and talk about comes about. What we predict we create. I’m turning off my computer now so I can stare into space and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I mastered a simple assignment today as a result of the pink slip. I feel a camaraderie with the universe. Cynthia is back. I am a human BEING, not a human DOING.	Some February Features: *See Heather Brittany as the star of “The Amber Glass” at the Otto Wilhelm Schmidt Theater, 389 North Magnolia Ave. El Cajon, Ca 92020. Call (619) 449-5096 for tickets, or meet me at the World Talk Radio Benefit on February 12th at 2pm. Tickets just $25.00 *February 13 at 11:30am come visit the Earth Song Bookstore where I’ll be speaking and doing a presentation. 1440 Camino Del Mar, Del Mar, Ca. 92014 Good Reads: *Read Jill Murphy Long’s books, Permission to Nap, Permission to Party, and Permission to Play *Check out Libby Gill’s book, Traveling Hopefully *My co-author on Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, and co0creator of the series, Jack Canfield has a new great book, The Success Principles. Wonderful! *Richard Pelzer tells a harrowing personal account in “A Brother’s Journey”. *Ivan Burnell’s “Say Yes to Life” is a quick, powerful tool to improvement. *Choose books from any of the authors I interview on our radio show. They are all winners. Tune into our radio show every day, somewhere, sometime. Visit http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm for schedules and list of guests/books. And please consider making a donation to our charity, Be the Star You Are! Go to www.bethestaryouare.org Paypal and Acteva make it easy! Blessings to you, Cynthia Brian Your personal growth coach
The Gift of Happiness MARCH 2005 FEATURE STORY by Cynthia Brian ©2005
It had been a really horrible winter. Rainy, cold, gray, and depressing. We were outdoor kids and had spent too many days indoors. We were very unhappy, and we were sure it was all our parents’ fault. So the first rainless day in March, Debbie, Patty, and I decided to run away from home. We told Mom and Dad about our plans to go find sunshine and happiness. With a chuckle, they asked if we needed help packing. “No” we responded, “we’re old enough to pack our wagon ourselves.” We were three, four, and five years old respectively, living on a big ranch far from the madding crowd. We had no idea where we were going, but we just knew we had go away to be happy. Our grandparents had bought us a big red wagon with removable wooden sides for Christmas, and we were eager to try it out. The packing began. We included all of life’s essentials: our dolls, toy cash register, dinosaurs, pogo sticks, jump ropes, play phone, puzzles, picture books, miniature tool set, stuffed animals, hula hoops, Monopoly money, rock collections, roller skates, a plastic shovel, and our battered shared tricycle, which was tied to the back of the wagon. It took hours to get ready. We had many important decisions to make and couldn’t agree on the necessities for our trip. Items like food, water, clothing, and blankets never crossed our minds. Finally, we were ready. Excitedly, we kissed our parents good-bye and told them we were off to wonderland. They acted as if running away was a common occurrence and wished us a safe and happy journey. Mom handed us a sack of sandwiches she had packed, and Dad suggested we take along our dog Bullet (named after Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s dog) to protect us and play with us. (Of course, they kept a distant eye on us the whole time.) With our cowboy hats on our heads, our holsters on our hips, and our stick horses as our mode of travel, we started off, singing “Happy Trails to You” as we pulled our heavy load. The tricycle caboose wouldn’t cooperate, so Patty decided to sit on it and steer while Debbie pushed the wagon and I pulled. The dirt road was bumpy and the potholes were deep and full of muddy water from the rains, but we plugged along, cheerfully. Then suddenly we saw heaven ahead. Mustard—tall yellow spires blanketing the fields—beckoned us to come play. Breaking into a run, we dashed toward this beacon of springtime. The mustard plants were taller than any of us. We could stand and not be seen by each other a few feet away. “This is it!” we exclaimed. “Let’s set up house!” As we unpacked our valuables, we stomped around in the mustard making rooms for each of us and putting everything in a special place. “This is the kitchen, this is the porch, this is the living room, this is the bedroom, this is the garage.” We lay down in the mustard and rolled around, inhaling the pungent fragrance of this intoxicating plant. How lucky we were to find such a paradise! Our dolls and stuffed animals loved it too. Bullet found squirrels to chase and barked with enthusiasm. The sounds of rushing water filled the air and we wandered over to the creek. There we found miners’ lettuce, dandelions, wild strawberries, and watercress growing. Pretending we were pioneers, we made a salad using our dolls’ utensils and settled in for our first meal together. We thought it was absolutely delicious! Our shoes came off, and we waded into the water but it was too cold to think of swimming or catching polliwogs. We quickly decided that throwing rocks would be more fun. Lots of wildflowers—shooting stars, lupines, and poppies—adorned the banks, and we picked big bouquets for our new home in the mustard fields. The rest of the day was spent playing hide-and-seek in the mustard, arranging and rearranging our treasures, and hunting for new rocks. Time sped by, and before long it was dark. The moon came up, and the night sounds sent shivers down our backs. None of us dared show fear. After all, we were happy. The coyotes howled, the owls hooted, and Bullet barked at night-foraging rabbits. At first we had retreated to our separate mustard bedrooms, but soon the three of us curled up together and counted the stars while Bullet was posted as sentry.	We decided that this was the happiest day of our lives, but we wondered if Mom and Dad missed us. None of us were awake when Dad came to get his girls. We woke up in our own beds in the morning, the smell of Mom’s cooking wafting from the kitchen. At breakfast we all agreed we had indeed found the Promised Land far, far away, and we shared stories of our thrilling adventure with our parents who listened with rapt attention. We didn’t realize that our enchanted faraway world was only a mile down the road, on our own property. We had never left the ranch. There truly is no place like home. That day I learned that happiness is an inside job. Happiness occurs within our hearts. It is not external. No one can make us happy, but cruelty and insensitivity can make us very unhappy. We can all help each other avoid unhappiness by eliminating hateful words, cruel deeds, and abusive looks. However, anyone who assumes that other people and things can “make” them happy will forever be disappointed. We are responsible for our own happiness or sadness. One key to happiness is having dreams. Sometimes we need to do something different to reawaken the happiness that already dwells in our souls. My sisters and I dreamed of finding a land of sunshine. By setting out on our journey, we were making a dream come true, though there was no more sunshine down the road than where we had started. Our parents, in their wisdom, allowed us to go. They knew no one could give us happiness. We had to find it within ourselves. Why do so many people think that happiness is outside themselves? The average child encounters 431 negative messages every day: “Don’t do that!” ”You’re too young for that!” ”I’ve told you a thousand times not to do that!” ”Give me that; you’ll hurt yourself!” It’s hard to find inner exuberance when you’re bombarded by negativity. Our mom and dad helped us find our own happiness by encouraging our search. Though you can’t make anyone else happy, you can help them find happiness within themselves. Give your friends and loved ones permission to make their own mistakes. Smile to a stranger and affirm that happiness exists. I love George Eliot’s saying, “Wear a smile and have friends, or wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” Smiling is infectious, so pass the smile bug around. Happiness and sadness are intertwined. Too much sun can create a desert. Too much rain brings floods. A balance is essential for growth. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are as happy as they make up their mind to be.” What makes you happy? A sunset, beautiful music, the smell of flowers or dinner cooking, a baby’s laugh—all can lift our hearts and remind us how wonderful life can be. So can the memory of these things. You control the images you choose to focus on. No one else does. Abundance and joy come from within, not from other people. Exercise: Catching the Happiness Bug Happiness is infectious. Once you’ve eliminated the things that make you feel unhappy, you’ll discover how easily you can be happy. 1. How much do you enjoy the following caring activities each day? Relaxation ____ Meditation ____ Exercise ____ Nutrition ____ Fun! ____ Use the following grading scale: A = Awesome B = Beautiful C = Coming along D = Dragging	2. Write down a list of the stressors in your life. For example, “I feel burned out at work; my spouse doesn’t understand me; I don’t have enough time for myself; I’m constantly interrupted; I have no appetite (or excessive appetite); I am frequently angry; impatient with the kids.” 3. Now that you recognize your stressors, what can you do to improve your score in the five caring daily activities? What would give you more pleasure and happiness while releasing stress? If you keep tabs on what gets you down, you’ll be able to concentrate on what brings you up. You can catch the happiness bug! Before I get out of bed in the morning, I take about three minutes to talk to God. I give thanks for everything I have in life, especially my health, and ask for help to live my life to my greatest potential and to serve others. During the day, although I am always stretched for time, I make an effort to grab a couple of pieces of fruit and to drink plenty of water. When stress begins to build, I take a few deep breaths. If possible, I get outside in the fresh air and listen to nature for a few minutes. Most of all, I smile. This helps others smile, which reflects back to me and makes me smile more. It is amazing how doing just a few small things for yourself every day can “grow” happiness. Try it. As my friend and mentor, Father Patrick McGrath taught me: Help each other to be happy. Never mind if help be small. Giving a little is far better Than giving none at all. * * * No matter how wonderful or wretched things are, you decide if you’re happy. Happiness is an inside job. Excerpted from her book, Be the Star You Are! 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference (Ten Speed) ©2001 All Rights Reserved Blessings to you, Cynthia Brian Your personal growth coach Bio: Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference , The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments® is a internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and acting coach. Often referred to by the media as "the Renaissance woman with soul!" Cynthia is a world traveler who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and Dutch. With over two decades of experience working in the entertainment field as an actor, producer, writer, coach, designer, and casting director, she has had the honor of performing with some of the biggest names in the industry. She is the Founder/CEO of the 501 (c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering families and youth at risk through literacy and positive media. Her motto is "To be a leader, you must be a reader!" Cynthia is dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams by implementing their unique gifts and has coached many aspiring thespians, writers, and professionals to fame and fortune. Cynthia’s enthusiasm, energy, and passion will elevate your audience to be the stars of their own lives! Tune into the radio program live and archived every Wednesday from 6-7pm PST http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm
Ode to Life APRIL 2005 FEATURE STORY by Cynthia Brian ©2005
"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns. I am thankful that thorns have roses." -- Allophones Karr My Golden pheasant died in my arms today. I had raised him since he was a hatchling when a veterinarian friend moved to Wyoming and needed a home for the baby bird. He grew into a gorgeous specimen with a kaleidoscope of colored feathers so was aptly named Renaissance. He reminded me of a Great Masters painting. Since he was a wild bird, I had held him only thrice in fifteen years-at birth, at death, and once when he was lost and then found. We were family. He knew me as his “mom”. He sang to me as I worked in the garden and I answered his whistles. We comforted one another. He had a long happy life, yet I mourn for his soulful call. This morning he was listless in his aviary. My daughter, Heather, looked at him and whispered to me, “Mom, it’s his time to go home. Prepare yourself.” As I gently cradled my treasured feathered friend, I called my human friend, Jenny, who has dedicated her life to preserving the dignity of the wild kingdom. “Just be with him and make him comfortable, Cynthia. Honor and be grateful for his life.” Renaissance spent his final hours nestled near my heart, then with a final flutter, he waved goodbye. It’s been a difficult week. On Saturday I gave a eulogy for one of my favorite young acting students who was tragically killed in an automobile accident by a reckless driver who never stopped to witness the carnage. Bret Harte was just 25, an only child with a brilliant mind, devoted friends, a loving family, and a promising career. He was one of those kids you just want to adopt-he was joyous, a prankster, smart, and	diligent. I began coaching him for acting when he was just a kid. He was now producing, directing, and acting with an entourage of adoring fans. As I hugged his amazing parents, I wondered how they will survive such a loss. I reflected on the death of my own sixteen year old brother, David, who was killed when a tractor overturned on top of him on our ranch. Life went on for others, while we have never been the same. My parents hearts were torn apart. Why do the good die young? Why does God take these special angels first? How can the world keep turning while we are ravaged with grief , desperately attempting to make sense of life? I began a memorial fund for Bret at Be the Star You Are!™ Charity. (http:// www.bethestaryouare.org /BretHarte.html ) so he will be remembered in the Galaxy of Stars. He was a rising star, now he’s a shooting star. The night sky will never again be the same. Have I done enough to celebrate his life, I ask myself? Burying a bird does not compare with the death of a child, yet if love could have saved them, they would have never died. Allison Dubois, author of “Don’t Kiss Them Goodbye” was on my radio show tonight. She is the woman who is the inspiration for the hit NBC television series, “Medium”. Her words are comforting. She says that we don’t “die” we just “pass over” and although our bodies can’t be hugged, the spirits and souls of our loved ones are with us always. Even our pets are on the other side. I always detested the words “passed over” but I’m beginning to understand the thin veil between “here” and “there”. It’s spring time. It is supposed to be a time of re-birth, regeneration, renewal, not a time of death. As I peer out at my garden, I see signs of beauty everywhere	from the deep green grassy hills to the thousands of blooming daffodils, tulips, hyacinths, freesias, and iris I planted in the Fall. Nature is breathtaking.  Is there life after death? I hope so. The spirits of my loved ones, human and animal, live in my memory. The phone is ringing. I hear the voice on the answering machine asking if I would adopt some baby chicks which hatched for Easter baskets and have since been abandoned. Yes, of course. I am a steward of the planet. I bless our connection to the earth. I will celebrate the gift of knowing Bret, David, Richard, Paul, Nonie, Deane, Fred, Juanita, Daddy, and all those who were snatched from this earthly home before their time. Or maybe it was their time and we all have a date marked on the calendar of the universe with our name on it. My good friend, Deane Hawley, used to say that the acronym for DEATH was DEPART EARTH-AFTER THAT-HEAVEN. I’m celebrating my heaven right here on earth. Living in the now is the only way to go. Cherish the past, dream of the future, and live every moment of life today. Life is precious. I am grateful for all my relations. Each day anew. Live in harmony and gratitude. We are all one. “It is in the darkest of nights that we can see the stars.” Emerson Spring forward, keep your stars shining brightly. Cynthia Brian Your personal growth coach PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 925-377-STAR www.star-style.com
Age is Timeless MAY 2005 FEATURE STORY by Cynthia Brian ©2005
“There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.”  Marguerite Gardiner Blessington (1789-1849) “Why don’t you age or something, Cynthia!” my doctor exclaimed as she walked into the examining room where I was sitting dressed in the white paper smock on the occasion of my annual check up. “We can be awesome at any age if we decide to be,” I retorted to this physician who had delivered my daughter twenty years ago. Our lively discussion focused on the choices we make in life-those that empower us as well as those that hinder our growth. One of those choices is to be happy and to be ageless. Happiness is an inside job and when you choose happiness as a daily mantra, your body seems to glow with the air of youthfulness. As spring and summer approach it feels so appropriate to take a good look in the mirror to admire the beauty that is reflected back. What are the secrets of longevity? The New England and Okinawa Centenarian Studies are focused on discovering the factors that lead to a long life. Both studies are examining the lives of those over the age of 100, a population estimated in the United States to number 50, 000 and growing. Although we might not all live to be over 100, the findings from both research programs offer insights into the secrets of being healthy as we age: Positive Attitude-Centenarians overwhelmingly are optimistic, adaptable, and have an easy-going approach to life. They rarely see “age” as a limitation to their ability to enjoy life. In addition, they have a fighting spirit and emotionally stable, flexible, and adaptive. Relationships-Close relationships and strong social support systems are central to most centenarians. Having emotional and physical support as well as companionship can often be a protective factor with regard to health. Being socially integrated into a large community is also important. Spirituality-Having a deep spirituality and strong faith is important. Most centenarians have had a lifelong awareness of their spiritual side. For many, it is this factor that has helped them cope with the various challenges life has brought. Exercise-Maintaining physical strength is essential to living long, and many centenarians participate in strength training in order to maintain muscle strength and bone mass as they age. Nutrition-They eat moderately and sensibly. Many Okinawan centenarians eat a low calorie, unrefined complex carbohydrate diet, and they practice a cultural habit known as hara hachi bu, only eating until they are 80% full. In addition, eating a diet high in calcium, antioxidants, fruits and vegetables, and minimizing meat, satu5rated and hydrogenated fats, and sweets is critical. Getting enough vitamins is crucial to the fountain of youth.	Managing Stress-Many centenarians have had to cope with major stressful life events throughout their lives, but most weather stress well and have a stress resistant personality. They tend to be self-confident and do not feel rushed and pressed for time. A Sense of Humor-Laughing at yourself and with others is the best way to meet any situation. We don’t stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing. A smile gives your face value. Goldie Hawn is turning 60 in November of 2005. “Goldie Hawn is 60?” you ask with raised eyebrows. “How can that be? She seems so young, so bubbly, so ageless!” Having had the privilege to be her double in the feature film, “Foul Play”, I can tell you that Goldie has patterned her life with the above seven attributes. She loves life. Life loves her back. We can all learn something from her. Live a life of no regrets. It’s difficult when you look at magazine filled with the perfect visages and bodies of celebrities and models. It makes you feel so imperfect and insignificant. The reality is that most are highly re-touched photos, with a battalion of make-up artists, hair stylists, wardrobe consultants, art directors, and photographers all hired to make sure that perfection is portrayed, not human reality. So what can we mere mortals do to maintain the springtime of our youth? Being beautiful is not about hair, make-up and clothing. It is truly about loving the person we are on the inside, forgiving our faults, honoring our bodies, and living healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives. My clients ask me for my advice and it is really quite simple and straight forward. We all innately know what to do. We just have to implement the strategies. Besides the seven secrets listed above try a couple of these tips: *drink lots of water *slather on the sun screen *get plenty of sleep *read empowering books *pet a pet *schedule regular medical check-ups *use less make-up *pamper yourself *drink in moderation *STOP smoking *play with children *volunteer with a charity (I suggest Be the Star You Are! www.bethestaryouare.org) *Brush your teeth and SMILE *Never give up on your dreams “I promise to keep living as though I expect to live forever.  Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.  People grow old only by deserting their ideas.  Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul.”  -Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) Heather Brittany, my daughter, and I are on our way to Lake Austin Spa and Resort as the featured speakers for Mother’s Day week. We’ll be presenting topics on communication, designing a life you love, and ,appropriately, how to be awesome at any age. From the “terrific teens “to the “fabulous forties” to the	“sensational seventies” and beyond, it is time to unveil the amazing person within. So during this month of May, I challenge you to discover the youthful potential in your relationships, social encounters, love life, career, health, and personal power. It's never too early, or too late to Be The Star You Are! You may not be Goldie, but you are gold. Shine on! Happy Mother’s Day to one and all. Starsmiles and blessings, Cynthia Brian Your personal growth coach PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 925-377-STAR www.star-style.com To obtain rates or to book Cynthia Brian as a speaker for your next engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue Feather Management, toll free 888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com. Biographical Sketch Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®., is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and acting coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred to by the media as “the Renaissance woman with soul!" She is a world traveler who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three decades of experience working in the entertainment field as an actor, producer, writer, coach, designer, and casting director, she has had the honor of performing with some of the biggest names in the industry. Cynthia is a Certified Interior Designer and has had her interior and garden design projects featured in TV, commercials, books, and numerous publications. She is the Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering families and youth at risk through literacy and positive media. Her motto is “To be a leader, you must be a reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams by implementing their unique gifts and has coached many aspiring thespians, writers, and professionals to fame and fortune. Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! for more inspiration, advice, and interviews with authors.  http://www.star-style.com/ radio/index.htm. Buy her books-  http://www.star-style.com/ store/index.htm Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org
The Star Shine of Wine JUNE 2005 FEATURE STORY by Cynthia Brian ©2005
On May 25, 2005, the town of Napa in California honored my grandfather, Fred Abruzzini as the “Father of Napa Valley Wine Tourism” by dedicating a park in his honor. As a member of the Parks and Recreation Committee, Bill Know, a long time friend and public relations expert from Beringer Brothers Winery in St.Helena, California, had lobbied for this special accolade for Fred Abruzzini. About 30 members of our family attended the occasion and we are all so delighted as Fred was such an inspiration and positive force in our lives. Interestingly, it coincided with a writing award I won for a story I had written celebrating the life of my grandfather that was sponsored by the Southern California Genealogical Society. I like to think that some of my promotional show business acumen and dedication to helping others was fostered at the knee of grandpa. To our great sadness, he was killed while mowing his lawn by a falling tree in 1989 at the age of 84. He was in perfect health and was happy, energetic, and passionate to the end of his days. His legacy to California and the Napa Valley Wine industry is continuous and monumental. Read on to find out more about this quiet, self made gentleman who put Napa Valley on the map—literally! And why not enjoy a glass of fine Napa Valley wine while you are reading. Salute * * * Although he stood no more than five foot nine inches tall, my paternal grandfather, Fred Abruzzini, was a gentle giant. He was a self-made man, very soft spoken yet extremely affable and well liked. In fact, he was what we kids called “famous”. As a child, I thrived in his company and could never get enough of his energy, enthusiasm, and passion for life. His stories and his achievements were filled with inspiration from perspiration. When I was in my thirties I decided to tape record our conversations for posterity so that I would get to learn directly from him about his success strategies and life choices. We’d sit in his “trophy room”, a small space covered with framed black and white photographs of him and celebrities, flipping through hundreds of scrapbooks, while I let the tapes roll. Grandpa was humble and modest as he described his ascent in the wine industry and the numerous movie stars who were his friends. As I write his history today, I am grateful for those tapes and my numerous notes. Grandpa was a strong, healthy and robust man, so who could have known that an elm tree would fall on him on a calm day killing him instantly as he mowed his lawn. His life ended much too soon. In 2005, a park will be dedicated in his honor on Orchard Avenue in the town of Napa. I look forward to sharing his stories while celebrating the life of a great wine showman who put Napa Valley on the map. Fred Abruzzini was the son of Italian immigrants who emigrated to Canada at the turn of the century. With only an eighth grade education, Grandpa Fred set off for California to work for his uncle, Benjamino Cribari, who had a small winery. Grandpa Fred was determined to succeed, but his timing couldn’t have been worse. It was 1920, and Prohibition, the “noble experiment,” had just become law. All alcoholic beverages were forbidden, and the wineries were in big trouble. Wineries were only allowed to produce a minute quantity of wine for sacramental and medicinal purposes. Wine grapes, the results of decades of specialized cultivation, were being sold for grape-flavoring syrup, grape juice, and an alcohol-free imitation wine. Then came the 1929 stock market crash that kicked off the Great Depression. Most wineries had already gone bankrupt. The ones still surviving remained open on a tentative basis. Grandpa Fred built a reputation for honesty and efficiency at the Cribari Winery. When the federal tax agents found suspicious irregularities in wine production reports at the larger and more prestigious Beringer Brothers Winery, they suggested to Bertha	Beringer that she might hire someone with a solid record for wine inspections. Someone like Fred Abruzzini from the Cribari Winery. At Bertha’s invitation, Grandpa drove north to St. Helena to look over the situation. When he saw the great vats and underground storage vaults, Grandpa said, “Now this is a place to make wine!” But he wasn’t sure whether he should leave the security of his job with Cribari. He had worked for his uncle for twelve years and was destined to become a shareholder. Finally, he accepted the challenge. In exchange for free rein and a percentage of the profits, he became general manager, wine master, and chief promoter at Beringer Brothers. Of course, there were no profits in those days. But Grandpa Fred was determined to turn the business around. He straightened out the wine records and organized the books. Then he used his Cribari connections to buy more grape juice for altar wine sales to provide essential cash flow. Next, he turned to the winery’s long-neglected prune trees, restoring them to vigor and planting more in the vineyard’s fallow land. He used the prunes in a big marketing push. Salesmen presented beautifully packaged prunes when they visited churches to sell altar wines. Beringer wine sales skyrocketed. By 1932, there was talk that Prohibition might end if Franklin Delano Roosevelt became president. Grandpa Fred gambled on a Democratic win, and began crushing more grapes to make port. His bet paid off. Roosevelt was elected in November 1932, and Prohibition ended in December 1933. Grandpa was ready with a big ad: “At last, after fourteen years of suspended animation, Beringer’s famous cellars…have become a madhouse.” It took great determination to rebuild an industry that had been shut down for fourteen years. Speakeasies had made alcoholic beverages synonymous with sin. The image of fine dining and glamour had to be restored. Grandpa Fred came up with a determined promotion idea. At that time, few people had heard of Napa Valley, California. None of the wineries that are famous today—Beringer, Beaulieu, Martini, Inglenook, Christian Brothers, and Charles Krug—were doing very well. In May 1934, Grandpa Fred opened the Beringer caves to public tours, creating California’s wine tourist industry. That September, during the first revival of the annual Vintage Festival since 1919, he brought five thousand visitors into his cellars for a tour and a chance to buy Beringer wines. Still, Grandpa knew he needed even more publicity. He sent beautiful gift packages of Beringer wine, walnuts, and prunes to dignitaries and movie stars, along with a note saying: “Come up to the beautiful Napa Valley, and we’ll treat you like a star.” Cowboy star Tom Mix brought his traveling show to be part of the entertainment. Heavyweight champion Max Baer and Gone with the Wind’s hero, Clark Gable visited and Grandpa Fred’s close friends. Grandpa lured famous visitors and gave them lots of publicity, making sure their photos were taken in front of an enormous Beringer wine barrel. It wasn’t long before public figures, movie stars, politicians, or sports celebrities visiting San Francisco made it a point to travel north to Beringer Brothers. Grandpa Fred didn’t stop with celebrities. In 1939, the World’s Fair was held on Treasure Island in San Francisco Bay. He drew up a map of Napa Valley. “All roads lead to Beringer!” it said at the top. Grandpa Fred, my Grandma Juanita, and their three sons (my dad, Alfred, and my uncles Jack and Ron) traveled to  Treasure Island and handed out maps to fair goers. To make visiting the winery easy, Grandpa Fred provided free buses for anyone who wanted to make the side trip. To greet all these new guests, Grandpa Fred renovated a building called the Rhine House into a reception hall and tasting room. He surrounded it with picnic tables and built huge,	outdoor barbecue pits, still standing today.  Visitors could enjoy free barbecue and steak dinners while overlooking the vineyards and hazy purple mountains in the distance. By 1940, over twenty-five thousand people were visiting the Beringer Winery each year. Corporations and social clubs began scheduling their picnics and meetings in St. Helena. Visitors went home and told their friends about the incredible hospitality at Beringer Brothers Winery. Today, winery tours are a staple of tourism and wine sales in California, and indeed around the country and the world. Grandpa Fred Abruzzini, is sometimes referred to as “The Father of the Napa Valley”, and is revered as an innovator and marketer extraordinaire. When he retired after twenty-four years with Beringer, all the major Napa-Sonoma wineries were conducting tours and wine tastings, basking in being part of one of the most beautiful wine-producing regions of the world. Napa Valley was literally put on the map by a determined young man with an eighth grade education! Grandpa Fred, despite his spunk, was a simple, soft-spoken man, described as “earthy” and “real.” Everyone adored him, from the humblest farm worker to the most exalted celebrity. He had ability to make others feel good about themselves. His ten grandchildren all share his amazing gift of determination. We are honored to call Fred Abruzzini “Grandpa.” Starsmiles and blessings, Cynthia Brian © 2005 Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 www.star-style.com To obtain rates or to book Cynthia Brian as a speaker for your next engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue Feather Management, toll free 888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com. Biographical Sketch Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®., is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and acting coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred to by the media as “the Renaissance woman with soul!" She is a world traveler who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three decades of experience working in the entertainment field as an actor, producer, writer, coach, designer, and casting director, she has had the honor of performing with some of the biggest names in the industry. Cynthia is a Certified Interior Designer and has had her interior and garden design projects featured in TV, commercials, books, and numerous publications. She is the Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering families and youth at risk through literacy and positive media. Her motto is “To be a leader, you must be a reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams by implementing their unique gifts and has coached many aspiring thespians, writers, and professionals to fame and fortune. Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! for more inspiration, advice, and interviews with authors. http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm. Buy her books- http://www.star-style.com/store/index.htm Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org
Do It Right - The First Time!  JULY 2005 FEATURE STORY   by Cynthia Brian ©2005
Our house, which is only about 18 years old, is basically falling apart! What we thought was our dream home has turned into a nightmare. A movie was made about our house-it’s called The Money Pit. Can you relate? We built this house after walking land for ten years, interviewing 6 architects, 18 contractors, and 43 lenders. We wanted only the best because we wanted to do it right and only do it once. We worked hard, saved our money, invested wisely, got educated about the process, then hired great people based on solid information and numerous recommendations. Almost from day one the problems began. The architect added up the square feet incorrectly which meant the contractor’s bid was over budget. The framer disappeared with the dollars we paid the contractor, resulting in a lien to the house. The windows were delayed for months allowing the rains to drown the building in the winter. The superintendent had the nickname “Waving Rich” as he seemed to be afraid of his sub-contractors. Instead of checking on them, he’d drive to the top of the driveway, wave to everyone and leave. What was supposed to be nine months of construction evolved into 18 months of high stress and diminishing bank accounts. Despite the setbacks and cost escalations, we hung in there with full faith in our builder. Our lender was a dream, extended our loans, and helped us avoid bankruptcy. We eventually moved in and thought the craziness was over. It was just beginning. Our kids sailed boats in the crawl space under the house which had become a lake while decorative columns rotted, and the deck sagged. We’d call the builder, he’d send out Waving Rich. A few things would be repaired, just to fail a couple of years down the road. We’d be told to caulk and paint the entire house, which we did….THREE TIMES. My husband lost his patience and became furious. We are both people that believe in integrity and standing behind your work. After spending so much money, why was such a young beautiful house riddled with problems? A paper trail of letters and emails ensued. Yet because we really believed in and liked our builder, and we are not litigious people, we never pursued any legal intervention. Big mistake on our part!	that our house is a “textbook case” of improper construction, inappropriate materials, and poor supervision during the building stage. The gutters are too small for the pitch of the roof and the size of the home, there are no flashing materials in evidence anywhere, the wood used was pine or plywood instead of cedar or redwood, some of the roof tiles are not even nailed down. The experts tell us that no matter how many times we caulked, painted, or maintained, this house was disintegrating before it was even finished. This renowned builder with the stellar reputation performed miserably on this project. We must liquidate our retirement accounts to bear the burden of these expenses. The new California laws, forged by builders and the insurance companies, absolve the contractor of any responsibility after ten years. In hindsight, we regret being so kind. We regret having faith in the builder. We regret believing in his integrity and honesty to do the right thing. We are paying a very high price for maintaining what we thought was a friendship between us. Regret begets no relief. The reality is we always have and always will want to believe in the goodness of people. We want to trust in their word. We want to feel that those we hire are honest and will do the job as specified. We don’t want to sue anyone. We want to build relationships that linger. Karma rules the world. What goes around, comes around. Word of mouth is always the best advertisement or the worst sanction. What’s going to happen? The optimist in me writes the ending with the contractor visiting the site, noticeably appalled by what has happened to his masterpiece. Peter resurrects his compassionate character by correcting the mistakes of the subs. He does the right thing. We compromise on the costs. Everyone shakes hands and the house becomes the home we had hoped to build. Another ending-like Scarlett in Gone with the Wind, I’ll think about that tomorrow. It probably involves lawyers and the media which means no one shakes hands or wins. If you’ve encountered a similar experience, I’d love to hear how you handled it. Email me at cynthia@NOSPAMstar-style.com (Eliminate the words NO SPAM from the email address before sending-this is to keep away the web crawlers.)	Until next month, keep a positive outlook on life even when the walls are falling down around you. I am! And, remember when doing anything, DO IT RIGHT, THE FIRST TIME! Happy summer to all. Starsmiles and blessings, Cynthia Brian © 2005 Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 www.star-style.com To obtain rates or to book Cynthia Brian as a speaker for your next engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue Feather Management, toll free 888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com. Biographical Sketch Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®., is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and acting coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred to by the media as “the Renaissance woman with soul!" She is a world traveler who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three decades of experience working in the entertainment field as an actor, producer, writer, coach, designer, and casting director, she has had the honor of performing with some of the biggest names in the industry. Cynthia is a Certified Interior Designer and has had her interior and garden design projects featured in TV, commercials, books, and numerous publications. She is the Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering families and youth at risk through literacy and positive media. Her motto is “To be a leader, you must be a reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams by implementing their unique gifts and has coached many aspiring thespians, writers, and professionals to fame and fortune. Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! for more inspiration, advice, and interviews with authors. http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm. Buy her books- http://www.star-style.com/store/index.htm Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org
The Gift of Imagination  AUGUST 2005 FEATURE STORY   by Cynthia Brian ©2005
If you want to know why imagination is important, just ask a child to tell you a story. Children's minds are filled with chocolate moons, whipped cream clouds, cows that fly, dogs that talk, and many invisible friends. As soon as we could reach the pedals, my brothers, sisters, and I learned to drive in a 1930's Ford jalopy. It had three gears and a maximum speed of about thirty-five miles per hour. My dad had cut the top off it so we could imagine that it was a convertible. We loved to drive it up and down the ranch roads and through the vineyards, pretending we were traveling in far away lands. One afternoon, my sisters and the children of the field laborers decided to go on an adventure. While driving through the fields, they spotted a deer and wanted to play with it. The deer started running. The jalopy, with about six little kids in it, went in rapid pursuit. When the deer jumped over a small ravine, the kids thought the car could jump too. After all, didn't Fred McMurray's car fly in the movie Flubber? The jalopy flew all right. Over the ravine and right into several grapevines, throwing the kids, seats and all, out of the car. (There were no seat belts in those days.) The muffler was broken off and the windshield cracked, but amazingly no one was hurt. The jalopy came to a halt, the deer pranced away, and the kids wiped the dirt off their faces and assessed the damage. “What are we going to tell daddy?” they thought. They had to come up with a believable story so they wouldn't get in trouble for damaging his grapevines and the jalopy. As the kids were walking home, they hit on a foolproof idea. They marched together into the tractor barn and began telling dad their story: “We were out on a drive inspecting the vineyards, when, out of nowhere, a big train came and plowed into the jalopy. The train then knocked down the grapevines, and we were lucky to escape with our lives.” My dad listened intently, asking for more details. The kids went on and on, and the story grew to such proportions that my dad could hardly contain himself. Finally they finished, certain they had convinced him.	Dad told them how much he appreciated their honesty and how happy he was that they survived the ordeal. However, train or no train, they were grounded and would not be allowed to drive again until they understood the responsibility of being behind the wheel of a car. In addition, they would have to pay off the damages by working in the fields. The wonderful part of the story is that it was several years before the kids realized that my dad had not bought their story, even though there wasn't a train track for fifty miles! My dad had so enjoyed their enormous communal imagination and was so relieved to know that everyone was all right that he had the good heart to play along. * * * Children constantly remind us what is like to be free, innocent, and playful. I know that's why I so enjoy working with them, to make sure they don't lose that sense of wonder and magic when they enter the grown-up world of acting. My daughter, Heather, has always had an active, frolicking imagination. As a small child, she would draw funny pictures and ask me to write down the story that went with the picture. I saved most of them, and today we reread them and laugh until we cry. The stories make no real "sense," but they are original, usually about animals teaching humans an important lesson in living. Her reality of working with animals was created first in her imagination. Exercise: Just imagine Children are great at imagining they are someone or something else. Become a child for ten minutes. Find a room that has a full length mirror. Lock the door, look in the mirror, and become the person you most want to be. Is it a rock star? A pro-ball player, Miss America, an astronaut, or president? Do you want to win an Academy Award, a Nobel Prize, or the love of your life? Sing, dance, applaud, scream, yodel, or travel to distant shores? Imagination is the beginning of reality. Savor the moment. * * * Imagine your reality. Cynthia Brian 2001, Starstyle® Productions, LLC. All Rights reserved.	This article was excerpted from Cynthia's book, "Be the Star You Are! 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference." BUY THIS BOOK NOW CLICK HERE Biographical Sketch Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference , The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®. is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and acting coach. Her two newest books are Gabbing with Gurus and Daddy’s Hands, Mommy’s Heart, Children’s Memories-the 9 Blessings of Family. Often referred to by the media as “the Renaissance woman with soul!" Cynthia is a world traveler who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three decades of experience working in the entertainment field as an actor, producer, writer, coach, designer, and casting director, she has had the honor of performing with some of the biggest names in the industry. She is the Founder/CEO of the 501 (c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering families and youth at risk through literacy and positive media. Her motto is “To be a leader, you must be a reader!” Cynthia is dedicated to helping others achieve their dreams by implementing their unique gifts and has coached many aspiring thespians, writers, and professionals to fame and fortune. Cynthia’s enthusiasm, energy, and passion inspires others to be the stars of their own lives! Cynthia Brian Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 925-377-STAR (7827) www.star-style.com www.starstyleproductions.com www.bethestaryouare.org Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! for more inspiration, advice, and interviews with authors. http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm. Buy her books- http://www.star-style.com/store/index.htm Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org
Thanksgiving is Today Tips for Creating An Attitude of Gratitude  NOVEMBER 2005 FEATURE STORY  by Cynthia Brian ©2005
“The more gratitude you show in life, the more you will have to be grateful for.” No doubt about it! This has been a difficult year. Our world has suffered through death and destruction due to tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, fires, terrorist attacks and war. Individually we’ve survived our own personal disasters and heartaches as we struggle to live a life of meaning. With challenges, everyday heroes and sheroes emerge amongst us as we witness ordinary extraordinary people going the distance to help others in distress. These stories of courage and selflessness offer hope and healing as we all participate in the circle of life. We are blessed with great abundance by the mere fact that we live in a free country, where with enough determination, planning, skill, and support we can create a better tomorrow. America is a country of great abundance, yet, everyday most of us complain about the lack in our lives. Being human means that all of us, regardless of race, religion, economics, politics, or sex, will have difficult times and challenges to overcome. My daughter, Heather Brittany and I have been traveling around the country lecturing a great deal this year. For the Thanksgiving Week, we have been invited to present a week long retreat on creating a Thanksgiving Attitude of Gratitude at Red Mountain Spa and Resort in Utah. If you can join our celebration, we welcome you to refresh, rejuvenate, reconnect, and seek sanctuary as we give thanks.  For those of you who can’t join us, we want to share a few tips with you called, Thanksgiving is Today. Take time to give thanks for the little things every day, not just once a year. Be grateful for what you have. When we are grateful, we are rewarded with a sense of honor and personal strength. Say “thank-you,” for every gift you receive, positive or negative, because everything in life is a blessing. Life may be giving you a lesson in appreciation. Learn to be grateful for everything. Gratitude exalts the heart and feeds the soul. Having an attitude of gratitude makes every moment shine brightly. 1. Say “Thank You” During the next hour, say a sincere “thank-you” to everyone who does anything nice for you, your family, your friends, or the world. Write one thank-you note, and mail it. 2. Cook up a Treat	Create something nourishing, sweet, and delicious to give to a friend or loved one. Bake a cake and say “Thank you for being you!” The recipe for living a life of happiness is gratitude. 3. Create a Gratitude Journal Find a beautiful journal to keep by your night stand and every night write down all the people, places and things that your are grateful for on this day. Date it. When you are having a bad day, re-read your entries. You’ll be surprised by all your blessings. 4. Learn to Receive Allow others to feel good about them selves by giving to you. Learn to accept appreciatively and to enjoy the spirit of the gift. Sometimes the way you receive can be the greatest gift of generosity. 5. Write a letter Letter writing is a dying art. Get pretty note cards and write a heartfelt “thank you” to those who have made a difference in your life…just because. 6. Party On Throw a Gratitude Party and invite everyone you admire. What better way to say “thank you” than to eat, drink, dance, and be merry with friends? 7. Color My World Get out your crayons and get creative. Make a collage. Cut photos and slogans from magazines to express your love of life. Make meaning from madness. 8. Offer Compliments Beauty and grace are everywhere around us. When you “feel the love” say so. Compliment often and from the heart. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful you can make others feel. 9. Reward Yourself Who is the most important person in the world? YOU! Before you can serve others, you must serve yourself. That means give yourself the gifts you need- more sleep, a hot bath, new clothing, a pat on the back, a romp with your dog, a glass of champagne, a luxurious vacation or a relaxing massage. The important thing is for you to get the message that you are important. You count. You are worthwhile. You DESERVE to be special. And then express your gratefulness for being the star you already are.	Volunteer What better way to show your  gratitude for all you have than by making a financial contribution to your favorite small charity as well as volunteering some time. May we suggest a contribution to Be the Star You Are! 501 c3, an al volunteer charity dedicated to empowering women, families and youth at risk through improved literacy and positive media. You can designate your funds be used in OPERATION HURRICANE RELIEF. All donations are tax deductible and can be made on-line through PAYPAL at www.bethestaryouare.org or sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, Ca. 94556. Everyone counts-you make a difference.   Everyday is Thanksgiving Day when you live, learn, laugh, and love in the moment. Thanksgiving is today. Share the abundance.   "Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." Charles Dickens, 1812-1870, Novelist   Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season! Be the Star You Are! * * * Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany are the charismatic mother/daughter dynamos known as The Stella Donne Goddess Gals, working together in films, television, radio, commercials, print, speaking, and numerous writing endeavors . Tune into our popular syndicated radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! broadcast live every Wednesday from 6-7pm PST/9-10pm EST on World Talk Radio. Call us toll free to chat 888-514-2100. You can listen to the archives here.  Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, California 94556 www.star-style.com www.goddessgals.com 925-377-STAR THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!
Tea For Two - A Christmas Cup of Tradition   DECEMBER 2005 FEATURE STORY    by Cynthia Brian & Heather Brittany ©2003-2005
Cynthia’s Tea Bag: The word "Christmas" elicits thoughts of joy…presents under a trimmed tree, candy canes, plum pudding, warm fires, snowmen, Santa Claus, the birth of baby Jesus. Although it has become way too commercialized for my taste over the years, Christmas is still a time of honoring traditions, reconnecting with loved ones and spending time with family. It is also a time of great stress. One of our family rituals over the years has been the annual tree hunt, which usually is the weekend after Thanksgiving. We all pile in the truck to visit a Christmas tree farm where we’ll survey every possibility before choosing "the tree". My husband prefers a ‘perfect’ tree thus we dare not choose one that is flawed. One-year disaster struck. The ‘perfect’ tree had been cut and soaked in the obligatory garbage bin filled with water. I finished work, early, picked the kids up from school, all of us eager to decorate. The bulb on the trunk was too large for the stand, so I got out the chain saw. Somehow, when I chopped it off, the tree fell apart. Our eyes popped out of our heads as we stared at boughs strewn on the ground. What were we going to do? We didn’t have enough money or time to buy a new tree. Ingenuity saved the day. With a drill bit in hand, white glue, wire, and duct tape, we put that tree back together, perfectly. We used every garland, ornament, light string, and star that we owned, crowning it with a beautiful angel. Our "imperfect" tree was PERFECT. We swore one another to silence until the tree turned to firewood. Not apprised of our cleverness, my husband (the kid’s father) agreed this tree was the most beautiful we had ever found. Every guest who entered our home exalted our decoration, honoring the splendor of the spectacle. Justin, Heather, and I exchanged giggly glances. Although leaves started falling profusely from the branches shortly after Christmas Day, we didn’t reveal our secret until we were dismantling our contrivance sometime after New Years. What a shock he had when he saw the duct tape, wire, and glue holding kindling together. A season of exquisite elegance in such imperfection! All of us learned a great lesson that season. There is grandeur in simplicity. Christ was born in a wood manger filled with straw. Christmas may include presents under a trimmed tree, candy canes, plum pudding, warm fires, snowmen, and Santa Claus, but the true meaning of Christmas is celebrated by all religions—we are all family. Love one another despite our flaws and differences.	Heather’s Tea Bag: In many households once a child reaches a "certain" age, a special convention is often abandoned. That custom is BELIEF. Remember the excitement that filled your belly when you were a tiny tot awakening early on those chilly Christmas mornings knowing that Santa Claus had sped his sleigh your way? You had faith that you had been good and couldn’t wait to spy the presents under the tree. This tradition of "Santa's arrival" has never faded in our house, even though both my brother and I are both over age eighteen and away at college. We were taught that if we didn’t believe in magic, magic doesn’t happen. So we cling to our belief in the unbelievable. We see Santa’s sleigh scurrying across the night sky led by Rudolph’s bright red nose. We hear the angels singing. We fall asleep assured that the elves in the North Pole have been working all year to make toys for good girls and boys. Every Christmas morning, we wake our parents at the crack of dawn with eager excitement. "Hurray! Come quickly! Santa has come! Santa has come!" We prance down the stairs to witness the miracles of our faith - a glass of milk that has been thirstily consumed, cookie crumbs remaining on the plate along with a handwritten note from Santa himself telling us how proud he has been of our behaviors during the previous year. His has a watchful eye, we are certain of that. He also sends salutations from Mrs. Claus and thanks us for the carrots for the reindeer. The gifts are scattered EVERYWHERE; flowing out of the fireplace across the hall towards the kitchen and beyond. Not large, or expensive ones, but items that we need. It’s as if Santa was really in a hurry and couldn’t figure out where the tree was! Sometimes we find a poem leading us on a treasure hunt to discover our bounty in odd places like the freezer, the garbage can, or the shed. What fun it is to have enchantment in the home! One is never "too old" for tradition. Believing in "Santa" or anything else that makes you happy doesn't mean you are childish, it makes you child-like which gives you confidence with that warm fuzzy feeling of being loved and cherished. So this year, when the holiday spirit rolls into your tea time, don't neglect to indulge in the sweetness of your customs, heritage and traditions. Your belief in miracles, magic, and wonderment will keep your cup full long after the season has passed. Leave Room for Honey: Believe in the Magic.	We live in tough times. Take a moment to find the magic in your life. At this time of year, rejoice in your humanity. Hug your children and indulge in incredulous imagination and awe. Believe in the magic. Have a crystal clear Christmas!   * * * Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany are known as "The Stella Donne” Goddess Gals. They are a mother-daughter team that have been working together acting and modeling since Heather was 3 days old! Together they host on TV and radio, write columns, and speak around the country. Contact them at Starstyle® Productions, LLC, PO Box 422, Moraga, Ca. 94556. Web: www.goddessgals.com. Cynthia is the author of Be the Star You Are!, The Business of Show Business, and co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul. Tune in to their radio program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are! broadcast live every Wednesday on World Talk Radio from 6-7pm PST/9-10pm EST at (and syndicated on other stations airing every day.) Call us toll free to chat 888-514-2100. You can listen to the archives here.    Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, California 94556   www.star-style.com www.goddessgals.com 925-377-STAR   THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!
Resolutions-NOT!   JANUARY 2006 FEATURE STORY    by Cynthia Brian ©2006
“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.” -- Winston Churchill Every year at this time, eager citizens make resolutions to lose weight, earn more money, sleep more hours, travel to distant lands, and spend more time with loved ones. By the beginning of April, most of those great intentions have been long forgotten in the fast paced existence we call life. Although statistics indicate that it only takes 30 days to drop an old habit or learn a new one, most of us just don’t stick with our plans long enough to reap any benefits. Clients come to me and ask for help in living their dreams. Although I have no magic wand, I can offer a few tips that may assist you in reaching for the stars and landing on them. 1. Focus on the positives in your life instead of the negatives. Make a list of everything BIG and SMALL that you accomplished in the last twelve months. Forget about what you did not do. Let it go. Congratulate yourself, celebrate. You’ll be astonished at how much you did achieve! Acknowledge your strengths and pat yourself on the back. 2. Eliminate the excuses from your vocabulary. People say to me that they want to write a book or audition for a play but “don’t have the time, don’t know how, don’t know if I have the skills, don’t think I could do it!” There is only one now, so just do it, or quit talking about it. 3. Create a plan of action by breaking down your goals into small realistic steps. For example don’t say “I am going to lose 25 pounds this year,” instead say “I will be healthier this year with a goal of losing 2 pounds per month.” Those two pounds per month sound doable, while 25 pounds feels like a stretch. By the inch it’s a cinch.”	4. Decide how much time you can give to your dreams and stick to it. Again, start small. Allocate one hour a week, or 3 hours a month or perhaps an uninterrupted week-end. Tackle each obstacle as it arises without letting a monster into your psyche. 5. Make a list of everyone who can help you achieve your goals and share your ideas. This is especially important if achieving your dreams impacts the time you spend with friends, family or co-workers. Don’t under estimate the people that love you. Engage them. By letting them know what you are striving for, they are more willing to help you get there. 6. Get organized. This needs to be in capital letters, so here it is again. GET ORGANIZED. That means organize your work space, your home life, your closets and your schedules. If you operate in clutter and chaos, it will be challenging to create anything new in your life. 7. Be a list maker. Create a master to do list, better yet create a chart with daily, weekly and monthly goals. This allows you to see what you have accomplished and what you need to do to get to the next agenda. 8. Plan ahead. Interruptions and unexpected emergencies will arise. Allow yourself the space and time you need. 9. Be specific. Many people say they want more money but what does more money mean? Do you want one dollar more or a thousand dollars more. I have often said that my dream home would be on water and I daily envision myself living on a lake. We had a tremendous rainfall, our creeks overflowed and our gardens and driveway flooded. When I looked out in the morning I was living on a rushing river and a lake, but it wasn’t exactly what I truly wanted. I wasn’t specific enough! 10. Make your goals measurable with timelines. Say I want 5 new clients by May, 2006 that pay me $75 per hour. By being that specific, you can measure your progress. If by April, 2006	you have zero clients and you are still earning minimum wage, you might have to re-think your strategies. 11. Don’t get overwhelmed. Remember to pamper yourself, step back, and re-evaluate your progress as you go along. Your goal is to celebrate the accomplishments, not chide yourself for the setbacks. 12. Keep your eye on the prize. Bring to your senses how you will feel when you have reached your dream. It’s a process, and in order to make dreams come true, you have to dream big in the first place. You will have doubts and you will have down days. No one is 100% on track all the time. By rewarding yourself for your successes and keeping your goals realistic, doable, accountable, and specific, you’ll find yourself creating the future you have always wanted. The time is now. Keep in mind if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So stop making useless resolutions, instead, get out paper and pen to start dreaming. Reach for one small star at a time and before long, you’ll be playing in a galaxy! Wishing you a most prosperous, healthy, happy, and thrilling 2006. Cynthia Brian, NY Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference , The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®. is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, host of radio and TV shows, syndicated columnist and life coach. Often referred to by the media as “the Renaissance woman with soul!" Cynthia has taught acting, writing and marketing skills for over twenty years. To book a consultation or coaching session by phone or in person, call 925-377-STAR or email  cynthiaATstar-style.com.
Seven Star Secrets for a Loving World  Plus: Know How to Keep Your Love Sizzling   FEBRUARY 2006 FEATURE STORY    by Cynthia Brian ©2006
It’s February and this is the month where we celebrate love. Love is like happiness: the harder we seek it, the more it eludes us. Only when we can give it freely can it come back to us. If you want to be happier, healthier and wealthier in spirit, my seven STAR secrets for creating a more loving world may be right for you. Make other people feel good. Make other people look good. Help them meet their needs. Applaud their achievements, no matter how small. Go for win-win solutions. Say “I love you” often and mean it. Expect the best from others. People often become what you believe they are. If you are seeking to keep love and romance in your relationship, you need to be committed, spontaneous, and communicate effectively. In today’s world, we are all jugglers and it doesn’t matter if you are in a new relationship or have been married thirty years, love has a better chance of being realized if you make some wise choices to keep the sizzle in your step.	My college age daughter and radio co-host, Heather Brittany and I put our heads and hearts together to offer a few ideas on how to rekindle the flame of romance. Since you want your relationship to be satisfying and fulfilling, try any or all of these simple suggestions: Spend the day together doing nothing or everything. Hold hands more often. Write love notes and stick them in purses, briefcases, or on the bathroom mirror. Pamper one another-offer a foot rub or scalp massage. Be generous with compliments, not only in private, but also when friends and family are with you. Surprise your mate with a “just because” gift. Share your dreams, goals, and aspirations. Offer to do the chores for your loved one. Be an active listener. Prepare a love feast together- shop for ingredients, decorate, cook and enjoy!	Love is like air, we just can’t live without it. Express your feelings today and be open to accepting love unconditionally in return.   Keep in mind that love has no boundaries. How can you experience love? Start somewhere, start anywhere. Just offer love today. When you plant love, you reap happiness. And remember, Valentine’s Day is 365 days a year when you decide that love is not only the answer, it is the question! You are the STAR of your own life. Turn your life into a galaxy of love. Cynthia Brian, personal growth expert and media/presentation coach is the NY Times best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, Be the Star You Are!, The Business of Show Business and other books. She’s a frequent contributor to magazines, on-line sites, newspapers, and newsletters. For more information visit www.starstyleproductions.com and tune into the nationally syndicated radio show hosted by Cynthia and her daughter, Heather Brittany at http://www.worldtalkradio.com/ show.asp?sid=118.
It's Almost Spring! - Marching to the Garden   MARCH 2006 FEATURE STORY    by Cynthia Brian ©2006     co-author, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul     PO Box 422     Moraga, Ca. 94556    925-377-STAR     http://www.star-style.com     http://www.bethestaryouare.org
It’s about this time every year that I just can’t take winter anymore. Depression sets in as the cold, rain, hail, wind, and overcast days darken my spirits. Just about when I’m ready to move to Hawaii forever, hope arrives with the blooming daffodils. This year my hills of daffodils are especially gorgeous. Over the years I’ve planted several thousand and my work is paying off big time. The plum and flowering peach trees are in full bloom adding their white and pink exhilaration and the tulips, calla lilies, Dutch iris, primroses, and cyclamen demand paint the landscape in brilliant palette reminiscent of Monet. Nature has rewarded me with a cacophony of colors that herald the sunshine into my heart. Having been born and raised on a farm, listening to the earth and understanding the seasons has always been an essential part of my life. My parents extended their wisdom about nature as my father tended acres of crops while my mother expanded into flowers and vegetables. I remember how we all anticipated spring...the smell of the blossoms, the freshly tilled earth, and a promise that another year of rebirth had begun. Gardening is to me the same as life itself. My garden supplies my family with food, flowers, butterflies, bees, birds, frogs and a multitude of thrilling surprises. I talk to my flowers, trees, and shrubs and they just seem to know how much I love them by constantly showering the landscape with an ever-changing display of blooms and beauty. In these times of extreme stress, my private therapy is to go into my garden to spade the soil, pull weeds, and prune the roses. My children enjoy helping and our many animals romp with us as we work. The ever-changing garden invigorates and energizes us. I invite you to discover the many secrets your garden wants to whisper to you. Love and care for your plants by following my March garden guide. Join me in the garden and share the bounty. Happy Gardening to you! Cynthia Brian Co-author Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul	MARCH GARDEN GUIDE March heralds the beginning of spring and it's time for gardener's to get busy. Cherry, flowering plum, and crabapple trees blossom, filling the air with fragrance, so prune a few branches and bring indoors to enjoy their beauty. Bulb beds are coloring the gardenscape as we await the vernal equinox, the beginning of spring. WATCH your oak trees, if you have them, for oak moth larvae. If you notice large masses of green droppings on the ground, call in the professionals. For a smaller tree spray thoroughly with Bacillus thuringiensis, orthene, or carbaryl. LAWNS are ready to be mowed regularly now. Feed with high-nitrogen fertilizer. If weather is dry, seed or sod new lawns. Pull any weeds, making sure to get the roots. To control crabgrass and broad-leafed weeds, spray paying careful attention to the labels. SOIL PREPARATION is important for all new flower and vegetable gardens. Spade and till, adding organic soil amendments and compost from your pile. Work in a dry complete fertilizer. COMPOSTING is still important for all your grass clippings and spring prunings. Don't forget to add some fertilizer and keep moist for speedier results. PERENNIALS such as day lilies, agapanthus, yarrow, and flox need to be divided while they are semi-dormant. Replant healthy pieces after division. FERTILIZE. This is the best time to feed all plants including fruit trees, annuals, roses, and shrubs. Mature trees need their nitrogen booster. Wait to fertilize rhododendrons and camellias with an acid fertilizer until next month and then when they are finished blooming. Don't forget to give food to your potted plants as well. PEST CONTROL is important for all the new growth that attracts the creepy crawlies this month. Wash aphids off with a hose or use a spray gun with a little household detergent. Keep your	vigilance on baiting or picking slugs, snails and earwigs. Use netting to keep birds and small animals from eating your plants. MULCH to conserve moisture, unless rains have been extremely heavy, using bark. VEGETABLE planting time is here for potatoes, herbs, beets, peas and carrots, peppers, and eggplant. Still time for broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower. Warm season vegetables such as tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers and squash can be planted late in the month. BULBS...your choice includes begonias, dahlias, gladiolus, watsonia, and callas....plant now for summer enjoyment. PROTECT your new seedlings from the hungry mouths of birds by placing netting over them. PRUNE pelargoniums and geraniums for fuller summer blooms. May the sun shine in your garden and the stars in your heart! HAPPY GARDENING TO YOU! ©2000-2006 Cynthia Brian Home, Garden, and Parenting Expert at ClubMom Co-author, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul http://www.bethestaryouare.org Cynthia Brian, personal growth expert and media/presentation coach is the NY Times best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, Be the Star You Are!, The Business of Show Business and other books. She’s a frequent contributor to magazines, on-line sites, newspapers, and newsletters. For more information visit www.starstyleproductions.com and tune into the nationally syndicated radio show hosted by Cynthia and her daughter, Heather Brittany at http://www.worldtalkradio.com/ show.asp?sid=118.
The Gift of Happiness   SPRING 2006 FEATURE STORY    by Cynthia Brian ©2006     co-author, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul     PO Box 422     Moraga, Ca. 94556    925-377-STAR     http://www.star-style.com     http://www.bethestaryouare.org
What would you be doing differently if your first priority was living today to its fullest? -- Alan Cohen It had been a really horrible winter. Rainy, cold, gray, and depressing. We were outdoor kids and had spent too many days indoors. We were very unhappy, and we were sure it was all our parents’ fault. So the first rainless day in March, Debbie, Patty, and I decided to run away from home. We told Mom and Dad about our plans to go find sunshine and happiness. With a chuckle, they asked if we needed help packing. “No”, we responded, “we’re old enough to pack our wagon ourselves.” We were three, four, and five years old respectively, living on a big ranch far from the madding crowd. We had no idea where we were going, but we just knew we had go away to be happy. Our grandparents had bought us a big red wagon with removable wooden sides for Christmas, and we were eager to try it out. The packing began. We included all of life’s essentials: our dolls, toy cash register, dinosaurs, pogo sticks, jump ropes, play phone, puzzles, picture books, miniature tool set, stuffed animals, hula hoops, Monopoly money, rock collections, roller skates, a plastic shovel, and our battered shared tricycle, which was tied to the back of the wagon. It took hours to get ready. We had many important decisions to make and couldn’t agree on the necessities for our trip. Items like food, water, clothing, and blankets never crossed our minds. Finally, we were ready. Excitedly, we kissed our parents good-bye and told them we were off to wonderland. They acted as if running away was a common occurrence and wished us a safe and happy journey. Mom handed us a sack of sandwiches she had packed, and Dad suggested we take along our dog Bullet (named after Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s dog) to protect us and play with us. (Of course, they kept a distant eye on us the whole time.) With our cowboy hats on our heads, our holsters on our hips, and our stick horses as our mode of travel, we started off, singing “Happy Trails to You” as we pulled our heavy load. The tricycle caboose wouldn’t cooperate, so Patty decided to sit on it and steer while Debbie pushed the wagon and I pulled. The dirt road was bumpy and the potholes were deep and full of muddy water from the rains, but we plugged along, cheerfully. Then suddenly we saw heaven ahead. Mustard—tall yellow spires blanketing the fields—beckoned us to come play. Breaking into a run, we dashed toward this beacon of springtime. The mustard plants were taller than any of us. We could stand and not be seen by each other a few feet away. “This is it!” we exclaimed.	“Let’s set up house!” As we unpacked  our valuables, we stomped around in the mustard making rooms for each of  us and putting everything in a special place. “This is the kitchen, this is the porch, this is the living room, this is the bedroom, this is the garage.” We lay down in the mustard and rolled around, inhaling the pungent fragrance of this intoxicating plant. How lucky we were to find such a paradise! Our dolls and stuffed animals loved it too. Bullet found squirrels to chase and barked with enthusiasm. The sounds of rushing water filled the air and we wandered over to the creek. There we found miners’ lettuce, dandelions, wild strawberries, and watercress growing. Pretending we were pioneers, we made a salad using our dolls’ utensils and settled in for our first meal together. We thought it was absolutely delicious! Our shoes came off, and we waded into the water but it was too cold to think of swimming or catching polliwogs. We quickly decided that throwing rocks would be more fun. Lots of wildflowers—shooting stars, lupines, and poppies—adorned the banks, and we picked big bouquets for our new home in the mustard fields. The rest of the day was spent playing hide-and-seek in the mustard, arranging and rearranging our treasures, and hunting for new rocks. Time sped by, and before long it was dark. The moon came up, and the night sounds sent shivers down our backs. None of us dared show fear. After all, we were happy! The coyotes howled, the owls hooted, and Bullet barked at night-foraging rabbits. At first we had retreated to our separate mustard bedrooms, but soon the three of us curled up together and counted the stars while Bullet was posted as sentry. We decided that this was the happiest day of our lives, but we wondered if Mom and Dad missed us. None of us were awake when Dad came to get his girls. We woke up in our own beds in the morning, the smell of Mom’s cooking wafting from the kitchen. At breakfast we all agreed we had indeed found the Promised Land far, far away, and we shared stories of our thrilling adventure with our parents who listened with rapt attention. We didn’t realize that our enchanted faraway world was only a mile down the road, on our own property. We had never left the ranch. There truly is no place like home. That day I learned that happiness is an inside job. Happiness occurs within our hearts. It is not external. No one can make us happy, but cruelty and insensitivity can make us very unhappy. We can all help each other avoid unhappiness by eliminating hateful words, cruel deeds, and abusive looks. However, anyone who assumes that other people and things can “make” them happy will forever be disappointed. We are responsible for our own happiness or sadness. One key to happiness is having dreams. Sometimes we need to do something different to reawaken the happiness that already dwells in our souls. My sisters and I dreamed of finding a land of sunshine. By setting out on our journey, we were making a dream come true, though there was no more sunshine down the road than where we had started. Our parents, in their wisdom, allowed us to go. They knew no one could	give us happiness. We had to find it within ourselves. Why do so many people think that happiness is outside themselves? The average child encounters 431 negative messages every day: “Don’t do that!” ”You’re too young for that!” ”I’ve told you a thousand times not to do that!” ”Give me that; you’ll hurt yourself!” It’s hard to find inner exuberance when you’re bombarded by negativity. Our mom and dad helped us find our own happiness by encouraging our search. Though you can’t make anyone else happy, you can help them find happiness within themselves. Give your friends and loved ones permission to make their own mistakes. Smile to a stranger and affirm that happiness exists. I love George Eliot’s saying, “Wear a smile and have friends, or wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” Smiling is infectious, so pass the smile bug around. Happiness and sadness are intertwined. Too much sun can create a desert. Too much rain brings floods. A balance is essential for growth. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are as happy as they make up their mind to be.” What makes you happy? A sunset, beautiful music, the smell of flowers or dinner cooking, a baby’s laugh—all can lift our hearts and remind us how wonderful life can be. So can the memory of these things. You control the images you choose to focus on. No one else does. Abundance and joy come from within, not from other people. When stress begins to build, I take a few deep breaths. If possible, I get outside in the fresh air and listen to nature for a few minutes. Most of all, I smile. This helps others smile, which reflects back to me and makes me smile more. It is amazing how doing just a few small things for yourself every day can “grow” happiness. Try it. As my friend and mentor, Father Patrick McGrath taught me: Help each other to be happy. Never mind if help be small. Giving a little is far better Than giving none at all. No matter how wonderful or wretched things are, you decide if you're happy. Happiness is an inside job.  Excerpted from Cynthia’s award winning book, Be the Star You Are! (Ten Speed Press) Cynthia Brian, ASID, is a popular speaker, dynamic writer, and savvy media personality appearing regularly on radio, TV, and in print.  She is the New York Times best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author  of Be the Star You Are!®, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®. When she’s not writing or performing, you’ll find her in the garden! Tune into her weekly radio program, 5-6pm PST LIVE http://www.star-style.com/ radio/home.htm or visit www.starstyleproductions.com
The Gift of Triumph   JULY 2006 FEATURE STORY     by Cynthia Brian ©2006     co-author, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul     PO Box 422     Moraga, Ca. 94556    925-377-STAR     http://www.star-style.com     http://www.bethestaryouare.org
Yeah! It’s summer. Sunshine soars my spirits while being near water, enjoying barbecues with friends and family nourishes my body and soul. Enjoy some lazy, hazy days and be triumphant! My daughter, Heather, has always loved water. By age three, she was the youngest member of a six-and-under swim team. She was a fish without fear. When the gun went off at her first swim meet, she belly-flopped into the pool and did three breaststrokes. Then she grabbed the ropes and waved to the crowd, a huge smile on her face. She did another three strokes, stopped, and waved. She continued like this the entire length of the pool. Of course, she finished last, but in triumph. They crowd loved her! That day set the tone for the rest of her swimming career. She has been competing for more than a dozen years. She does it for the joy and the challenge, but she has won innumerable honors and awards. Another of Heather's competitions allowed ME a major triumph. Nineteen-ninety-nine found Heather and me at the Miss California Pageant in Fresno, California. She had been named Miss Teenage Contra Costa County and was representing our county at the state level. I conducted a live radio broadcast with the current Miss California and several of the aspiring contestants, including young teens who were vying for Miss Teenage California. Then, I settled down to relax and enjoy the pageant. Heather appeared at my elbow, a stricken look on her face. In her hand was the audiotape she had carefully prepared, a compilation of music for her dance/gymnastic routine in the	talent competition. "Guess what, Mom. They can only play music on CDs. No audio tapes allowed."  Did the organizers have any idea where we could get a CD made from the tape at the last minute? "No," they said. As Heather dashed off to get ready, I went into action. I drove to every TV and radio station in Fresno, asking if they could burn the music to a CD. None had the equipment. I was referred to various recording agencies, but all were closed. It was Saturday. Praying as hard as I could, I was pulling out of a parking lot when I saw a van with the logo of a music production company name. And a phone number. I immediately dialed the number on my cell phone. A real person answered, and I told him about my dilemma. "We can't help you," he said, "but I know who can. Where are you?" And he gave me directions and even met me at my destination to make sure all went smoothly. Within thirty minutes, Heather's music was on a CD. I felt giddy with triumph, and even the production company was pleased that they had solved our predicament and saved Heather's performance. Heather didn't win the state pageant, but she gave an awesome performance and had the time of her life. That was her triumph. Getting a CD made in Fresno on a Saturday was mine. Every day offers each of us an opportunity for victory. A win doesn’t mean “beating someone else” it just means doing that “something extra” and “out of the ordinary” to accomplish a goal. Master your fears, and you will succeed in ways that may seem impossible at first glance, but doable when you go forward and try We only fail when we don’t attempt a challenge, as we can learn from every effort. You are a winner, you are a star. Everything you need to be successful is already inside you. Fill your days with conquests and triumphs, big and small, then bask in your achievements.	Exercise: Cue the Trumpets At the top of a page in your journal, write "Triumphs," and make a list. Maybe it's the first time you cooked a dinner that was edible, or rode a bicycle, or got applause for something. Maybe it's finishing a task you really hated, or going out of your way to do a good deed for which you'll get no praise or credit. Praise yourself. Hear a hundred silver trumpets saluting each of your triumphs, resounding for your ears alone. You'll soon notice how many great things you can accomplish. Victorious people complete projects; losers never finish. Triumph is knowing "if it is to be, it is up to me!" As an achiever, you create your own positive forecast. * * * You don't have to beat someone or something to be triumphant. Triumph is about meeting high personal standards and goals. You are a victor because you do and give your best, whatever the actual outcome. Cynthia Brian, ASID, is a popular speaker, dynamic writer, and savvy media personality appearing regularly on radio, TV, and in print.  She is the New York Times best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul , author  of Be the Star You Are!®, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®. When she’s not writing or performing, you’ll find her in the garden! Tune into her weekly radio program, 5-6pm PST LIVE http://www.star-style.com/ radio/home.htm or visit www.starstyleproductions.com
Nine Minutes to Stress Free    NOV.-DEC. 2006 FEATURE STORY     by Cynthia Brian ©2006      co-author, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul      PO Box 422      Moraga, Ca. 94556      925-377-STAR      http://www.star-style.com      http://www.bethestaryouare.org
It’s that time of year again! We’re preparing for the Thanksgiving feast, yet we still haven’t put away the Halloween decorations and the mail carrier has already delivered three invitations for Christmas parties. We know this should be a joyous time of year so why are we feeling so stressed before the festivities have even begun? I know exactly how you feel! Between juggling radio programs, speaking engagements, media coaching, Be the Star You Are! charity volunteer work, family, friends, gardens, and my menagerie of animals, I sometimes wonder how I manage to decorate at all, much less prepare for the holidays. Am I stressed? Sometimes, however I have learned how to pace myself giving myself a much needed break, and I’m going to share a few of my secrets with you. These are Cynthia Brian’s shortcuts to less stress in nine minutes! 1. Breathe Deeply. Just a few seconds of deep breathing alters your brain chemicals modulating endorphins and neuropeptides, creating a sense of peace. Take three deep cleansing breaths several times a day. Breathe in slowly through the nose, exhale through your mouth. 2. Positive Phrasing: Your mind trusts what you tell it. Change any negative thinking into optimistic mantras. “I can do this.” “I am in the process of earning what I deserve.” “I am calm.” What you think about, and talk about, comes about and positive affirmations lower your level of the stress hormone cortisole.	3. Mini Meditate: Shut your eyes for 60 seconds and visualize a place that makes you feel happy and peaceful. Take a trip with your mind to your favorite beach, mountain, or backyard to elevate your mood. 4. Share a Smile: Smiling is contagious. When you smile at someone, they mirror back to you happiness. Any laughter, even forced or faked, instantly lowers blood pressure and creates a de-stressing effect. Force yourself to chuckle. 5. Sing a Song: The University of California at Irvine discovered that choir members increase immunoglobulin A, a disease fighting protein, by 240% when singing. So belt out a tune and feel better. 6. Spice it Up: Eating fiery foods releases endorphins. Enjoy spicy snacks as mood boosters. Drink ginger tea mixed with lemon and honey for a tasty, yet rejuvenating jolt. 7, Clear the Clutter: The UCLA Center for the Aging has found that chaos causes stress, anxiety, and agitation, putting us at risk for heart disease, stroke, and more wrinkles. Spend a minute filing those papers, folding your clothes, and recycling the old newspapers and you’ll feel more in control. 8. Move it: Whether you take a brisk walk, dance the jig, or swing your arms, get that body moving. Shake, wiggle, rock, roll, put some motion in the ocean! 9. Count your Blessings: It is physiologically impossible to be grateful and stressed at the same time according to studies at UCLA. Write down all the little things for which you are thankful and you’ll enjoy more enthusiasm, energy, and passion.	With these nine simple de-stressing strategies in just nine minutes you’ll feel more comfortable and alive. Of course, I also encourage giving yourself a time out every week to relax with a massage, a hot bath, a good book, and quiet time with your loved ones and pampered pets. And also don’t forget that one of the best ways to help ourselves feel better is to help someone else less fortunate. Make every day Thanksgiving Day. Be in the moment. Live, love, laugh, and learn. You are abundant and a human being. "Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." Charles Dickens, 1812-1870, Novelist ©2006 Cynthia Brian Starstyle® Productions, LLC PO Box 422 Moraga, Ca. 94556 www.star-style.com Cynthia Brian, ASID, is a popular speaker, dynamic writer, and savvy media personality appearing regularly on radio, TV, and in print. She is the New York Times best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, author of Be the Star You Are!®, The Business of Show Business, and Miracle Moments®. When she’s not writing or performing, you’ll find her in the garden with her menagerie of adopted animals! Tune into her weekly radio program.  http://www.worldtalkradio.com/ show.asp?sid=118

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