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The Power to Be the Star You Are!
JANUARY
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
| “By
working together, pooling our resources
and building on our strengths, we can
accomplish great things." Ronald
Reagan
Welcome
Power Partners to 2005!
Hard to
believe that another year has ended, yet
we all have the same 24 hours in a day
every day regardless of who we are! In
this new monthly column I will be
addressing many of the issues that are
posed to me from so many of you around
the globe. Although I do my best to
respond to everything, I decided to
write a short editorial each month to
keep you posted on thoughts, ideas,
events, and actions that I feel
important to us all.
In
December we all witnessed the horrendous
devastation of South Asia with the
killer tsunami. As we send our resources
and prayers to those in need I am
reminded of the words of a great author
and speaker, Leo Buscaglia: "There
are two big forces at work, external and
internal. We have very little control
over external forces such as tornadoes,
earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness
and pain. What really matters is the
internal force. How do I respond to
those disasters? Over that I have
complete control." At times like
these we feel powerless against the
forces of nature and fear fills our
souls. As an acting coach, one of the
things I always teach is that acting is
reacting. Every action results in a
reaction. It is the law of cause and
effect. Life will always throw us curve
balls. How we react to them is a choice.
We can see our glass as half full or we
can see our glass as half empty. I
choose full and so can you. In times of
sorrow and |
pain,
reach out to others to make a positive
difference. Volunteer at a charity, (Be
the Star You Are!™ always is in need)
help someone with a challenge, perform a
random act of kindness. Ironically the
person who benefits most will be you.
January
is always a time of writing resolutions
and goals. Unfortunately within 15 days
of writing resolutions, statistics
indicate that most people have given up.
Let’s do something different this
year. Let’s follow through together.
Make sure you know the difference
between an objective and a goal. An
objective can be a statement of what you
want to achieve, but a goal has
accountability with a timeline. A goal
is very specific. (An example is: I will
write 200 pages of my book by February
18 and will have it edited and ready for
publishing by February 28.) Alan Cohen
suggests that instead of noting all the
stuff you want to create and achieve in
the outer world, focus on who you want
to BE and how you want to FEEL within
you. I agree with this notion as it fits
my motto of BE the STAR you ARE!
Remember that life is not about “doing”
but about “being”. We are not called
“human doings”, we are called “human
beings”. Using the example above, how
will you feel inside when you have
accomplished your goal of writing,
editing, and publishing your book? I
know for me, I feel humbled and joyful
to empower others through the words I
write. If I can make a difference in
someone else’s life, I have achieved
my goals. You can have everything you
want if you help enough other people get
what they want. Write a marketing plan
for your life just as you would for your
business. |
Marketing
expert, Robert Michael Fried encourages
us to create a life of meaning by taking
the same amount of time, energy, and
focus in planning our personal lives as
we do in planning our professional
lives. Work towards your strengths, not
your weaknesses. The result will be more
balance, more purpose, and most of all,
more happiness. Make money while making
meaning.
My
recipe for personal and professional
success involves the following steps
which I offer you as a gift to implement
into your life. Follow these tips and
your life will change for the better.
°Dream
the Dream (make it larger than life…I
call it God Dreams)
°Write the plan (yes that means get it
out of your head and onto paper)
°Get the skills you need (that may mean
going back to school, hiring a coach,
reading more books)
°Go into action (no one is going to
knock on your door)
°Find a cheerleader (we all need at
least one support person)
°Believe in yourself and all the
possibilities (you are unique, you have
a gift)
Take a
look in the mirror and admire yourself.
You are a wonder of creation. Turn your
passions into profits and be the star of
your own performance. Until next month,
celebrate the moment as that is all we
ever have.
Blessings
to you,
Cynthia
Brian
Your personal growth coach |
|
Jury Duty
FEBRUARY
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
| “Not
again!” I sighed when I saw the pink
notice informing me that I was called
for jury duty the week of Thanksgiving.
Since I’d be out of town, I postponed
until February 1, all the while hoping
that somehow they’d forget about me.
No such luck! So here I am writing from
the great halls of our legal system
surrounded by two hundred other worthy
citizens wearing “juror” badges, all
waiting to be called.
The day didn’t start on a positive
note. I can’t afford to be here.
Honestly I don’t want to be here. My
mind is cluttered with the eighteen
items on my “to do” list, all of
which have very definite dead lines. “Dead”
is the key word here. It doesn’t make
me feel empowered. I give myself “timelines”
but these are most definitely “deadlines”
There was no parking near the
courthouse, so I parked in a red zone. A
friendly lawyer told me he parks there
all the time without receiving a ticket.
I put my jury sticker on the windshield
anyway. Somehow, my trust in attorneys
is not that elevated.
I look around me at the numerous
other jurors who are sitting, doing
absolutely nothing, just staring into
space. Waiting. No book, no magazine, no
computer, no cell phone. Waiting. Who
are these people? Jury duty must be the
highlight of their year. I find a chair
at the back of the room in a corner,
pull out Michael Gerber’s new tome,
E-myth Mastery, and begin to read. I
must finish this book today so I can
properly interview the world’s #1
small business guru on my radio show
tomorrow. A smiling clerk announces that
we are adjourned for an hour lunch
break. I’m not hungry, but a walk
might adjust my attitude. Goodness knows
my champagne disposition has lost its
bubbles.
Wow! It’s a glorious day outside.
The sun is shining, birds are singing. I
drag my bags back to my car parked in
the red zone so I don’t have to lug
everything downtown. No ticket yet. I
have a bit more faith in the lawyer at
this moment.
People on the sidewalks are cheerful.
In fact, everywhere I walk, strangers
say ”hello,” “welcome to our town,”
“have a great day”. I’m beginning
to feel better already. It dawns on me
that I’ve been to this city, which is
less than an hour from my home, only
about three times in my life. Once when
I won Outstanding Teenager of California
the local newspaper interviewed me. The
editor had met me on a camping trip so
the story had a folksy personalized
angle. |
The
second time I came with a design client
hunting for antiques or slightly used
treasures, and the third time was for a
4-H goat demonstration in which my
daughter was involved. This is an
adorable little town. It’s like Main
Street, USA, straight out of the movies.
Barbershops with the striped poles, the
carved Indian sitting outside a curios
store, mothers with babies in strollers
and little toddlers waving to the “chu
chu trains” passing. The smell of the
sea draws me closer to the bay as I walk
through a nature preserve. John Muir
used to live here. This is a charming
area. My mind is clearing, I am most
definitely feeling better.
A quick glance at my watch tells me
it’s time to return to the chambers.
My step is bit bouncier now. In fact, I
am thinking of friends I haven’t seen
in a long time, stories I want to write,
people I must contact. There is still no
ticket on my car as I retrieve my bag.
My seat in the back corner of the room
beckons. This is wonderful-my own
personal office. Feeling energized, my
laptop powered, items on my agenda are
completed and crossed off that pesky “to
do” list. The hours sail by, the case
is dismissed, and I’m back at my car.
No ticket! That friendly attorney was
telling the truth. My admiration soars
for the legal profession.
I’m feeling very alive. My
timelines are being met. Back in my
office I read my emails. Unbelievably
the very person I was thinking about
while strolling has found me via Google.
Jurgen in Sweden, a favorite babysitter
when my children were little,
re-connected with us today. What
serendipity!
The night before, while I complained
about jury duty, friend, Libby Gill
(author of Traveling Hopefully) had
encouraged me to “hang in there”
instead of crying “hang ‘em high!”
Sound advice for an attitude
re-arrangement. What we think about and
talk about comes about. What we predict
we create.
I’m turning off my computer now so
I can stare into space and do nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I mastered a simple assignment today
as a result of the pink slip. I feel a
camaraderie with the universe. Cynthia
is back.
I am a human BEING, not a human
DOING. |
Some
February Features:
*See Heather Brittany as the star of
“The Amber Glass” at the Otto
Wilhelm Schmidt Theater, 389 North
Magnolia Ave. El Cajon, Ca 92020. Call
(619) 449-5096 for tickets, or meet me
at the World Talk Radio Benefit on
February 12th at 2pm. Tickets
just $25.00
*February 13 at 11:30am come visit
the Earth Song Bookstore where I’ll be
speaking and doing a presentation. 1440
Camino Del Mar, Del Mar, Ca. 92014
Good Reads:
*Read Jill Murphy Long’s books,
Permission to Nap, Permission to Party,
and Permission to Play
*Check out Libby Gill’s book,
Traveling Hopefully
*My co-author on Chicken Soup for the
Gardener’s Soul, and co0creator of the
series, Jack Canfield has a new great
book, The Success Principles. Wonderful!
*Richard Pelzer tells a harrowing
personal account in “A Brother’s
Journey”.
*Ivan Burnell’s “Say Yes to Life”
is a quick, powerful tool to
improvement.
*Choose books from any of the authors
I interview on our radio show. They are
all winners. Tune into our radio show
every day, somewhere, sometime. Visit http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm
for schedules and list of guests/books.
And please consider making a donation
to our charity, Be the Star You Are! Go
to www.bethestaryouare.org
Paypal and Acteva make it easy!
Blessings
to you,
Cynthia
Brian
Your personal growth coach |
The Gift of Happiness
MARCH
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
|
| It
had been a really horrible winter.
Rainy, cold, gray, and depressing. We
were outdoor kids and had spent too many
days indoors. We were very unhappy,
and we were sure it was all our parents’
fault.
So the first rainless day in March,
Debbie, Patty, and I decided to run away
from home. We told Mom and Dad about our
plans to go find sunshine and happiness.
With a chuckle, they asked if we needed
help packing. “No” we responded, “we’re
old enough to pack our wagon ourselves.”
We were three, four, and five years old
respectively, living on a big ranch far
from the madding crowd. We had no idea
where we were going, but we just knew we
had go away to be happy. Our
grandparents had bought us a big red
wagon with removable wooden sides for
Christmas, and we were eager to try it
out.
The packing began. We included all of
life’s essentials: our dolls, toy cash
register, dinosaurs, pogo sticks, jump
ropes, play phone, puzzles, picture
books, miniature tool set, stuffed
animals, hula hoops, Monopoly money,
rock collections, roller skates, a
plastic shovel, and our battered shared
tricycle, which was tied to the back of
the wagon. It took hours to get ready.
We had many important decisions to make
and couldn’t agree on the necessities
for our trip. Items like food, water,
clothing, and blankets never crossed our
minds.
Finally, we were ready. Excitedly, we
kissed our parents good-bye and told
them we were off to wonderland. They
acted as if running away was a common
occurrence and wished us a safe and
happy journey. Mom handed us a sack of
sandwiches she had packed, and Dad
suggested we take along our dog Bullet
(named after Roy Rogers and Dale Evans’s
dog) to protect us and play with us. (Of
course, they kept a distant eye on us
the whole time.) With our cowboy hats on
our heads, our holsters on our hips, and
our stick horses as our mode of travel,
we started off, singing “Happy Trails
to You” as we pulled our heavy load.
The tricycle caboose wouldn’t
cooperate, so Patty decided to sit on it
and steer while Debbie pushed the wagon
and I pulled. The dirt road was bumpy
and the potholes were deep and full of
muddy water from the rains, but we
plugged along, cheerfully.
Then suddenly we saw heaven ahead.
Mustard—tall yellow spires blanketing
the fields—beckoned us to come play.
Breaking into a run, we dashed toward
this beacon of springtime. The mustard
plants were taller than any of us. We
could stand and not be seen by each
other a few feet away. “This is it!”
we exclaimed.
“Let’s set up house!” As we
unpacked our valuables, we stomped
around in the mustard making rooms for
each of us and putting everything in a
special place. “This is the kitchen,
this is the porch, this is the living
room, this is the bedroom, this is the
garage.” We lay down in the mustard
and rolled around, inhaling the pungent
fragrance of this intoxicating plant.
How lucky we were to find such a
paradise! Our dolls and stuffed animals
loved it too. Bullet found squirrels to
chase and barked with enthusiasm. The
sounds of rushing water filled the air
and we wandered over to the creek. There
we found miners’ lettuce, dandelions,
wild strawberries, and watercress
growing. Pretending we were pioneers, we
made a salad using our dolls’ utensils
and settled in for our first meal
together. We thought it was absolutely
delicious! Our shoes came off, and we
waded into the water but it was too cold
to think of swimming or catching
polliwogs. We quickly decided that
throwing rocks would be more fun. Lots
of wildflowers—shooting stars,
lupines, and poppies—adorned the
banks, and we picked big bouquets for
our new home in the mustard fields.
The rest of the day was spent playing
hide-and-seek in the mustard, arranging
and rearranging our treasures, and
hunting for new rocks. Time sped by, and
before long it was dark. The moon came
up, and the night sounds sent shivers
down our backs. None of us dared show
fear. After all, we were happy. The
coyotes howled, the owls hooted, and
Bullet barked at night-foraging rabbits.
At first we had retreated to our
separate mustard bedrooms, but soon the
three of us curled up together and
counted the stars while Bullet was
posted as sentry. |
We
decided that this was the happiest day
of our lives, but we wondered if Mom and
Dad missed us.
None of us were awake when Dad came
to get his girls. We woke up in our own
beds in the morning, the smell of Mom’s
cooking wafting from the kitchen. At
breakfast we all agreed we had indeed
found the Promised Land far, far away,
and we shared stories of our thrilling
adventure with our parents who listened
with rapt attention. We didn’t realize
that our enchanted faraway world was
only a mile down the road, on our own
property. We had never left the ranch.
There truly is no place like home.
That day I learned that happiness is
an inside job. Happiness occurs within
our hearts. It is not external. No one
can make us happy, but cruelty and
insensitivity can make us very unhappy.
We can all help each other avoid
unhappiness by eliminating hateful
words, cruel deeds, and abusive looks.
However, anyone who assumes that
other people and things can “make”
them happy will forever be disappointed.
We are responsible for our own happiness
or sadness.
One key to happiness is having
dreams. Sometimes we need to do
something different to reawaken the
happiness that already dwells in our
souls. My sisters and I dreamed of
finding a land of sunshine. By setting
out on our journey, we were making a
dream come true, though there was no
more sunshine down the road than where
we had started. Our parents, in their
wisdom, allowed us to go. They knew no
one could give us happiness. We had to
find it within ourselves.
Why do so many people think that
happiness is outside themselves? The
average child encounters 431 negative
messages every day: “Don’t do that!”
”You’re too young for that!” ”I’ve
told you a thousand times not to do
that!” ”Give me that; you’ll hurt
yourself!” It’s hard to find inner
exuberance when you’re bombarded by
negativity. Our mom and dad helped us
find our own happiness by encouraging
our search.
Though you can’t make anyone else
happy, you can help them find
happiness within themselves. Give your
friends and loved ones permission to
make their own mistakes. Smile to a
stranger and affirm that happiness
exists. I love George Eliot’s saying,
“Wear a smile and have friends, or
wear a scowl and have wrinkles.”
Smiling is infectious, so pass the smile
bug around.
Happiness and sadness are
intertwined. Too much sun can create a
desert. Too much rain brings floods. A
balance is essential for growth. Abraham
Lincoln said, “Most people are as
happy as they make up their mind to be.”
What makes you happy? A sunset,
beautiful music, the smell of flowers or
dinner cooking, a baby’s laugh—all
can lift our hearts and remind us how
wonderful life can be. So can the memory
of these things. You control the images
you choose to focus on. No one else
does. Abundance and joy come from
within, not from other people.
Exercise: Catching the Happiness
Bug
Happiness is infectious. Once you’ve
eliminated the things that make you feel
unhappy, you’ll discover how easily
you can be happy.
1. How much do you enjoy the
following caring activities each day?
Relaxation ____
Meditation ____
Exercise ____
Nutrition ____
Fun! ____
Use the following grading scale:
A = Awesome
B = Beautiful
C = Coming along
D = Dragging |
2. Write down a list of
the stressors in your life. For example,
“I feel burned out at work; my spouse
doesn’t understand me; I don’t have
enough time for myself; I’m constantly
interrupted; I have no appetite (or
excessive appetite); I am frequently
angry; impatient with the kids.”
3. Now that you recognize your
stressors, what can you do to improve
your score in the five caring daily
activities? What would give you more
pleasure and happiness while releasing
stress? If you keep tabs on what gets
you down, you’ll be able to
concentrate on what brings you up. You
can catch the happiness bug!
Before I get out of bed in the
morning, I take about three minutes to
talk to God. I give thanks for
everything I have in life, especially my
health, and ask for help to live my life
to my greatest potential and to serve
others. During the day, although I am
always stretched for time, I make an
effort to grab a couple of pieces of
fruit and to drink plenty of water.
When stress begins to build, I take a
few deep breaths. If possible, I get
outside in the fresh air and listen to
nature for a few minutes. Most of all, I
smile. This helps others smile, which
reflects back to me and makes me smile
more. It is amazing how doing just a few
small things for yourself every day can
“grow” happiness. Try it. As my
friend and mentor, Father Patrick
McGrath taught me:
Help each other to be
happy.
Never mind if help be
small.
Giving a little is far
better
Than giving none at
all.
* * *
No matter how
wonderful or wretched things are,
you decide if you’re
happy.
Happiness is an inside
job.
Excerpted from her
book, Be the Star You Are! 99 Gifts for
Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning
to Make a Difference (Ten Speed)
©2001 All Rights
Reserved
Blessings
to you,
Cynthia
Brian
Your personal growth coach
Bio:
Cynthia Brian, NY Times best
selling co-author of Chicken Soup for
the Gardener’s Soul , author of
Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for
Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning
to Make a Difference , The
Business of Show Business, and Miracle
Moments® is a internationally
acclaimed key note speaker, personal
growth consultant, host of radio and TV
shows, syndicated columnist and acting
coach. Often referred to by the media as
"the Renaissance woman with
soul!" Cynthia is a world traveler
who speaks French, Spanish, Italian, and
Dutch. With over two decades of
experience working in the entertainment
field as an actor, producer, writer,
coach, designer, and casting director,
she has had the honor of performing with
some of the biggest names in the
industry. She is the Founder/CEO of the
501 (c)(3) charity, Be the Star You Are!
empowering families and youth at risk
through literacy and positive media. Her
motto is "To be a leader, you must
be a reader!" Cynthia is dedicated
to helping others achieve their dreams
by implementing their unique gifts and
has coached many aspiring thespians,
writers, and professionals to fame and
fortune. Cynthia’s enthusiasm, energy,
and passion will elevate your audience
to be the stars of their own lives!
Tune into the radio program live and
archived every Wednesday from 6-7pm PST http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm |
Ode to Life
APRIL
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
|
| "Some
people are always grumbling because
roses have thorns. I am thankful that
thorns have roses." -- Allophones
Karr
My
Golden pheasant died in my arms today. I
had raised him since he was a hatchling
when a veterinarian friend moved to
Wyoming and needed a home for the baby
bird. He grew into a gorgeous specimen
with a kaleidoscope of colored feathers
so was aptly named Renaissance. He
reminded me of a Great Masters painting.
Since he was a wild bird, I had held him
only thrice in fifteen years-at birth,
at death, and once when he was lost and
then found. We were family. He knew me
as his “mom”. He sang to me as I
worked in the garden and I answered his
whistles. We comforted one another. He
had a long happy life, yet I mourn for
his soulful call. This morning he was
listless in his aviary. My daughter,
Heather, looked at him and whispered to
me, “Mom, it’s his time to go home.
Prepare yourself.” As I gently cradled
my treasured feathered friend, I called
my human friend, Jenny, who has
dedicated her life to preserving the
dignity of the wild kingdom. “Just be
with him and make him comfortable,
Cynthia. Honor and be grateful for his
life.” Renaissance spent his final
hours nestled near my heart, then with a
final flutter, he waved goodbye.
It’s
been a difficult week. On Saturday I
gave a eulogy for one of my favorite
young acting students who was tragically
killed in an automobile accident by a
reckless driver who never stopped to
witness the carnage. Bret Harte was just
25, an only child with a brilliant mind,
devoted friends, a loving family, and a
promising career. He was one of those
kids you just want to adopt-he was
joyous, a prankster, smart, and |
diligent.
I began coaching him for acting when he
was just a kid. He was now producing,
directing, and acting with an entourage
of adoring fans. As I hugged his amazing
parents, I wondered how they will
survive such a loss. I reflected on the
death of my own sixteen year old
brother, David, who was killed when a
tractor overturned on top of him on our
ranch. Life went on for others, while we
have never been the same. My parents
hearts were torn apart. Why do the good
die young? Why does God take these
special angels first? How can the world
keep turning while we are ravaged with
grief , desperately attempting to make
sense of life? I began a memorial fund
for Bret at Be the Star You Are!™
Charity. (http://
www.bethestaryouare.org
/BretHarte.html ) so he will be
remembered in the Galaxy of Stars. He
was a rising star, now he’s a shooting
star. The night sky will never again be
the same. Have I done enough to
celebrate his life, I ask myself?
Burying a bird does not compare with
the death of a child, yet if love could
have saved them, they would have never
died. Allison Dubois, author of “Don’t
Kiss Them Goodbye” was on my radio
show tonight. She is the woman who is
the inspiration for the hit NBC
television series, “Medium”. Her
words are comforting. She says that we
don’t “die” we just “pass over”
and although our bodies can’t be
hugged, the spirits and souls of our
loved ones are with us always. Even our
pets are on the other side. I always
detested the words “passed over” but
I’m beginning to understand the thin
veil between “here” and “there”.
It’s spring time. It is supposed to
be a time of re-birth, regeneration,
renewal, not a time of death. As I peer
out at my garden, I see signs of beauty
everywhere |
from the
deep green grassy hills to the thousands
of blooming daffodils, tulips,
hyacinths, freesias, and iris I planted
in the Fall. Nature is
breathtaking. Is there life after
death? I hope so. The spirits of my
loved ones, human and animal, live in my
memory.
The
phone is ringing. I hear the voice on
the answering machine asking if I would
adopt some baby chicks which hatched for
Easter baskets and have since been
abandoned. Yes, of course. I am a
steward of the planet. I bless our
connection to the earth. I will
celebrate the gift of knowing Bret,
David, Richard, Paul, Nonie, Deane,
Fred, Juanita, Daddy, and all those who
were snatched from this earthly home
before their time. Or maybe it was their
time and we all have a date marked on
the calendar of the universe with our
name on it. My good friend, Deane
Hawley, used to say that the acronym for
DEATH was DEPART EARTH-AFTER
THAT-HEAVEN.
I’m
celebrating my heaven right here on
earth. Living in the now is the only way
to go. Cherish the past, dream of the
future, and live every moment of life
today. Life is precious. I am grateful
for all my relations. Each day anew.
Live in harmony and gratitude. We are
all one.
“It
is in the darkest of nights that we can
see the stars.” Emerson
Spring
forward, keep your stars shining
brightly.
Cynthia
Brian
Your personal growth coach
PO
Box 422
Moraga, Ca. 94556
925-377-STAR
www.star-style.com |
Age is Timeless
MAY
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
|
| “There
is no cosmetic for beauty like
happiness.”
Marguerite Gardiner Blessington
(1789-1849)
“Why don’t you age or something,
Cynthia!” my doctor exclaimed as she
walked into the examining room where I
was sitting dressed in the white paper
smock on the occasion of my annual check
up. “We can be awesome at any age if
we decide to be,” I retorted to this
physician who had delivered my daughter
twenty years ago. Our lively discussion
focused on the choices we make in
life-those that empower us as well as
those that hinder our growth.
One of those choices is to be happy
and to be ageless. Happiness is an
inside job and when you choose happiness
as a daily mantra, your body seems to
glow with the air of youthfulness. As
spring and summer approach it feels so
appropriate to take a good look in the
mirror to admire the beauty that is
reflected back.
What are the secrets of longevity?
The New England and Okinawa Centenarian
Studies are focused on discovering the
factors that lead to a long life. Both
studies are examining the lives of those
over the age of 100, a population
estimated in the United States to number
50, 000 and growing. Although we might
not all live to be over 100, the
findings from both research programs
offer insights into the secrets of being
healthy as we age:
Positive Attitude-Centenarians
overwhelmingly are optimistic,
adaptable, and have an easy-going
approach to life. They rarely see “age”
as a limitation to their ability to
enjoy life. In addition, they have a
fighting spirit and emotionally stable,
flexible, and adaptive.
Relationships-Close relationships
and strong social support systems are
central to most centenarians. Having
emotional and physical support as well
as companionship can often be a
protective factor with regard to health.
Being socially integrated into a large
community is also important.
Spirituality-Having a deep
spirituality and strong faith is
important. Most centenarians have had a
lifelong awareness of their spiritual
side. For many, it is this factor that
has helped them cope with the various
challenges life has brought.
Exercise-Maintaining physical
strength is essential to living long,
and many centenarians participate in
strength training in order to maintain
muscle strength and bone mass as they
age.
Nutrition-They eat moderately and
sensibly. Many Okinawan centenarians eat
a low calorie, unrefined complex
carbohydrate diet, and they practice a
cultural habit known as hara hachi bu,
only eating until they are 80% full. In
addition, eating a diet high in calcium,
antioxidants, fruits and vegetables, and
minimizing meat, satu5rated and
hydrogenated fats, and sweets is
critical. Getting enough vitamins is
crucial to the fountain of youth. |
Managing
Stress-Many centenarians have had to
cope with major stressful life events
throughout their lives, but most weather
stress well and have a stress resistant
personality. They tend to be
self-confident and do not feel rushed
and pressed for time.
A Sense of Humor-Laughing
at yourself and with others is the best
way to meet any situation. We don’t
stop laughing because we grow old, we
grow old because we stop laughing. A
smile gives your face value.
Goldie Hawn is turning 60 in November
of 2005. “Goldie Hawn is 60?” you
ask with raised eyebrows. “How can
that be? She seems so young, so bubbly,
so ageless!” Having had the privilege
to be her double in the feature film,
“Foul Play”, I can tell you that
Goldie has patterned her life with the
above seven attributes. She loves life.
Life loves her back. We can all learn
something from her. Live a life of no
regrets.
It’s difficult when you look at
magazine filled with the perfect visages
and bodies of celebrities and models. It
makes you feel so imperfect and
insignificant. The reality is that most
are highly re-touched photos, with a
battalion of make-up artists, hair
stylists, wardrobe consultants, art
directors, and photographers all hired
to make sure that perfection is
portrayed, not human reality.
So what can we mere mortals do to
maintain the springtime of our youth?
Being beautiful is not about hair,
make-up and clothing. It is truly about
loving the person we are on the inside,
forgiving our faults, honoring our
bodies, and living healthy, happy, and
fulfilling lives. My clients ask me for
my advice and it is really quite simple
and straight forward. We all innately
know what to do. We just have to
implement the strategies. Besides the
seven secrets listed above try a couple
of these tips:
*drink lots of water
*slather on the sun screen
*get plenty of sleep
*read empowering books
*pet a pet
*schedule regular medical check-ups
*use less make-up
*pamper yourself
*drink in moderation
*STOP smoking
*play with children
*volunteer with a charity (I suggest Be
the Star You Are! www.bethestaryouare.org)
*Brush your teeth and SMILE
*Never give up on your dreams
“I promise to keep living as though
I expect to live forever. Nobody
grows old by merely living a number of
years. People grow old only by
deserting their ideas. Years may
wrinkle the skin, but to give up
interest wrinkles the soul.”
-Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
Heather Brittany, my daughter, and I
are on our way to Lake Austin Spa and
Resort as the featured speakers for
Mother’s Day week. We’ll be
presenting topics on communication,
designing a life you love, and
,appropriately, how to be awesome at any
age. From the “terrific teens “to
the “fabulous forties” to the |
“sensational seventies”
and beyond, it is time to unveil the
amazing person within.
So during this month of May, I
challenge you to discover the youthful
potential in your relationships, social
encounters, love life, career, health,
and personal power. It's never too
early, or too late to Be The Star You
Are! You may not be Goldie, but you
are gold. Shine on!
Happy Mother’s Day to one and all.
Starsmiles and blessings,
Cynthia
Brian
Your personal growth coach
PO
Box 422
Moraga, Ca. 94556
925-377-STAR
www.star-style.com
To obtain rates or to book Cynthia
Brian as a speaker for your next
engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue
Feather Management, toll free
888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com.
Biographical Sketch
Cynthia Brian, NY Times best
selling co-author of Chicken Soup for
the Gardener’s Soul , author of
Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for
Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning
to Make a Difference, The
Business of Show Business, and Miracle
Moments®., is an internationally
acclaimed key note speaker, personal
growth consultant, host of radio and TV
shows, syndicated columnist and acting
coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred
to by the media as “the Renaissance
woman with soul!" She is a world
traveler who speaks French, Spanish,
Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three
decades of experience working in the
entertainment field as an actor,
producer, writer, coach, designer, and
casting director, she has had the honor
of performing with some of the biggest
names in the industry. Cynthia is a
Certified Interior Designer and has had
her interior and garden design projects
featured in TV, commercials, books, and
numerous publications. She is the
Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3)
charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering
families and youth at risk through
literacy and positive media. Her motto
is “To be a leader, you must be a
reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to
helping others achieve their dreams by
implementing their unique gifts and has
coached many aspiring thespians,
writers, and professionals to fame and
fortune.
Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio
program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You
Are! for more inspiration, advice, and
interviews with authors.
http://www.star-style.com/
radio/index.htm.
Buy her books-
http://www.star-style.com/
store/index.htm
Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org |
The Star Shine of Wine
JUNE
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
|
| On
May 25, 2005, the town of Napa in
California honored my grandfather, Fred
Abruzzini as the “Father of Napa
Valley Wine Tourism” by dedicating a
park in his honor. As a member of the
Parks and Recreation Committee, Bill
Know, a long time friend and public
relations expert from Beringer Brothers
Winery in St.Helena, California, had
lobbied for this special accolade for
Fred Abruzzini. About 30 members of our
family attended the occasion and we are
all so delighted as Fred was such an
inspiration and positive force in our
lives. Interestingly, it coincided with
a writing award I won for a story I had
written celebrating the life of my
grandfather that was sponsored by the
Southern California Genealogical
Society.
I like to think that some of my
promotional show business acumen and
dedication to helping others was
fostered at the knee of grandpa. To our
great sadness, he was killed while
mowing his lawn by a falling tree in
1989 at the age of 84. He was in perfect
health and was happy, energetic, and
passionate to the end of his days. His
legacy to California and the Napa Valley
Wine industry is continuous and
monumental.
Read on to find out more about this
quiet, self made gentleman who put Napa
Valley on the map—literally! And why
not enjoy a glass of fine Napa Valley
wine while you are reading. Salute
* * *
Although he stood no more than five
foot nine inches tall, my paternal
grandfather, Fred Abruzzini, was a
gentle giant. He was a self-made man,
very soft spoken yet extremely affable
and well liked. In fact, he was what we
kids called “famous”. As a child, I
thrived in his company and could never
get enough of his energy, enthusiasm,
and passion for life. His stories and
his achievements were filled with
inspiration from perspiration. When I
was in my thirties I decided to tape
record our conversations for posterity
so that I would get to learn directly
from him about his success strategies
and life choices. We’d sit in his “trophy
room”, a small space covered with
framed black and white photographs of
him and celebrities, flipping through
hundreds of scrapbooks, while I let the
tapes roll. Grandpa was humble and
modest as he described his ascent in the
wine industry and the numerous movie
stars who were his friends.
As I write his history today, I am
grateful for those tapes and my numerous
notes. Grandpa was a strong, healthy and
robust man, so who could have known that
an elm tree would fall on him on a calm
day killing him instantly as he mowed
his lawn. His life ended much too soon.
In 2005, a park will be dedicated in his
honor on Orchard Avenue in the town of
Napa. I look forward to sharing his
stories while celebrating the life of a
great wine showman who put Napa Valley
on the map.
Fred Abruzzini was the son of Italian
immigrants who emigrated to Canada at
the turn of the century. With only an
eighth grade education, Grandpa Fred set
off for California to work for his
uncle, Benjamino Cribari, who had a
small winery. Grandpa Fred was
determined to succeed, but his timing
couldn’t have been worse.
It was 1920, and Prohibition, the “noble
experiment,” had just become law. All
alcoholic beverages were forbidden, and
the wineries were in big trouble.
Wineries were only allowed to produce a
minute quantity of wine for sacramental
and medicinal purposes. Wine grapes, the
results of decades of specialized
cultivation, were being sold for
grape-flavoring syrup, grape juice, and
an alcohol-free imitation wine. Then
came the 1929 stock market crash that
kicked off the Great Depression. Most
wineries had already gone bankrupt. The
ones still surviving remained open on a
tentative basis.
Grandpa Fred built a reputation for
honesty and efficiency at the Cribari
Winery. When the federal tax agents
found suspicious irregularities in wine
production reports at the larger and
more prestigious Beringer Brothers
Winery, they suggested to Bertha |
Beringer
that she might hire someone with a solid
record for wine inspections. Someone
like Fred Abruzzini from the Cribari
Winery.
At Bertha’s invitation, Grandpa
drove north to St. Helena to look over
the situation. When he saw the great
vats and underground storage vaults,
Grandpa said, “Now this is a
place to make wine!” But he wasn’t
sure whether he should leave the
security of his job with Cribari. He had
worked for his uncle for twelve years
and was destined to become a
shareholder.
Finally, he accepted the challenge.
In exchange for free rein and a
percentage of the profits, he became
general manager, wine master, and chief
promoter at Beringer Brothers. Of
course, there were no profits in
those days. But Grandpa Fred was
determined to turn the business around.
He straightened out the wine records
and organized the books. Then he used
his Cribari connections to buy more
grape juice for altar wine sales to
provide essential cash flow. Next, he
turned to the winery’s long-neglected
prune trees, restoring them to vigor and
planting more in the vineyard’s fallow
land. He used the prunes in a big
marketing push. Salesmen presented
beautifully packaged prunes when they
visited churches to sell altar wines.
Beringer wine sales skyrocketed.
By 1932, there was talk that
Prohibition might end if Franklin Delano
Roosevelt became president. Grandpa Fred
gambled on a Democratic win, and began
crushing more grapes to make port. His
bet paid off. Roosevelt was elected in
November 1932, and Prohibition ended in
December 1933. Grandpa was ready with a
big ad: “At last, after fourteen years
of suspended animation, Beringer’s
famous cellars…have become a madhouse.”
It took great determination to
rebuild an industry that had been shut
down for fourteen years. Speakeasies had
made alcoholic beverages synonymous with
sin. The image of fine dining and
glamour had to be restored. Grandpa Fred
came up with a determined promotion
idea. At that time, few people had heard
of Napa Valley, California. None of the
wineries that are famous today—Beringer,
Beaulieu, Martini, Inglenook, Christian
Brothers, and Charles Krug—were doing
very well. In May 1934, Grandpa Fred
opened the Beringer caves to public
tours, creating California’s wine
tourist industry. That September, during
the first revival of the annual Vintage
Festival since 1919, he brought five
thousand visitors into his cellars for a
tour and a chance to buy Beringer wines.
Still, Grandpa knew he needed even
more publicity. He sent beautiful gift
packages of Beringer wine, walnuts, and
prunes to dignitaries and movie stars,
along with a note saying: “Come up to
the beautiful Napa Valley, and we’ll
treat you like a star.”
Cowboy star Tom Mix brought his
traveling show to be part of the
entertainment. Heavyweight champion Max
Baer and Gone with the Wind’s
hero, Clark Gable visited and Grandpa
Fred’s close friends. Grandpa lured
famous visitors and gave them lots of
publicity, making sure their photos were
taken in front of an enormous Beringer
wine barrel. It wasn’t long before
public figures, movie stars,
politicians, or sports celebrities
visiting San Francisco made it a point
to travel north to Beringer Brothers.
Grandpa Fred didn’t stop with
celebrities. In 1939, the World’s Fair
was held on Treasure Island in San
Francisco Bay. He drew up a map of Napa
Valley. “All roads lead to Beringer!”
it said at the top. Grandpa Fred, my
Grandma Juanita, and their three sons
(my dad, Alfred, and my uncles Jack and
Ron) traveled to
Treasure Island and handed out maps
to fair goers. To make visiting the
winery easy, Grandpa Fred provided free
buses for anyone who wanted to make the
side trip.
To greet all these new guests,
Grandpa Fred renovated a building called
the Rhine House into a reception hall
and tasting room. He surrounded it with
picnic tables and built huge, |
outdoor barbecue pits,
still standing today. Visitors
could enjoy free barbecue and steak
dinners while overlooking the vineyards
and hazy purple mountains in the
distance. By 1940, over twenty-five
thousand people were visiting the
Beringer Winery each year. Corporations
and social clubs began scheduling their
picnics and meetings in St. Helena.
Visitors went home and told their
friends about the incredible hospitality
at Beringer Brothers Winery.
Today, winery tours are a staple of
tourism and wine sales in California,
and indeed around the country and the
world. Grandpa Fred Abruzzini, is
sometimes referred to as “The Father
of the Napa Valley”, and is revered as
an innovator and marketer
extraordinaire. When he retired after
twenty-four years with Beringer, all the
major Napa-Sonoma wineries were
conducting tours and wine tastings,
basking in being part of one of the most
beautiful wine-producing regions of the
world. Napa Valley was literally put on
the map by a determined young man with
an eighth grade education!
Grandpa Fred, despite his spunk, was
a simple, soft-spoken man, described as
“earthy” and “real.” Everyone
adored him, from the humblest farm
worker to the most exalted celebrity. He
had ability to make others feel good
about themselves. His ten grandchildren
all share his amazing gift of
determination. We are honored to call
Fred Abruzzini “Grandpa.”
Starsmiles and blessings,
Cynthia
Brian
© 2005
Starstyle® Productions, LLC
PO Box 422
Moraga, Ca. 94556
www.star-style.com
To obtain rates or to book Cynthia
Brian as a speaker for your next
engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue
Feather Management, toll free
888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com.
Biographical Sketch
Cynthia Brian, NY Times best
selling co-author of Chicken Soup for
the Gardener’s Soul , author of
Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for
Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning
to Make a Difference, The
Business of Show Business, and Miracle
Moments®., is an internationally
acclaimed key note speaker, personal
growth consultant, host of radio and TV
shows, syndicated columnist and acting
coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred
to by the media as “the Renaissance
woman with soul!" She is a world
traveler who speaks French, Spanish,
Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three
decades of experience working in the
entertainment field as an actor,
producer, writer, coach, designer, and
casting director, she has had the honor
of performing with some of the biggest
names in the industry. Cynthia is a
Certified Interior Designer and has had
her interior and garden design projects
featured in TV, commercials, books, and
numerous publications. She is the
Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3)
charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering
families and youth at risk through
literacy and positive media. Her motto
is “To be a leader, you must be a
reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to
helping others achieve their dreams by
implementing their unique gifts and has
coached many aspiring thespians,
writers, and professionals to fame and
fortune.
Tune into Cynthia’s popular radio
program, Starstyle®-Be the Star You
Are! for more inspiration, advice, and
interviews with authors. http://www.star-style.com/radio/index.htm.
Buy her books- http://www.star-style.com/store/index.htm
Donate to the charity: http://www.bethestaryouare.org |
Do It Right - The First Time!
JULY
2005 FEATURE STORY
by Cynthia Brian ©2005
|
| Our
house, which is only about 18 years old,
is basically falling apart! What we
thought was our dream home has turned
into a nightmare. A movie was made about
our house-it’s called The Money
Pit. Can you relate?
We built this house
after walking land for ten years,
interviewing 6 architects, 18
contractors, and 43 lenders. We wanted
only the best because we wanted to do it
right and only do it once. We worked
hard, saved our money, invested wisely,
got educated about the process, then
hired great people based on solid
information and numerous
recommendations.
Almost from day one
the problems began. The architect added
up the square feet incorrectly which
meant the contractor’s bid was over
budget. The framer disappeared with the
dollars we paid the contractor,
resulting in a lien to the house. The
windows were delayed for months allowing
the rains to drown the building in the
winter. The superintendent had the
nickname “Waving Rich” as he seemed
to be afraid of his sub-contractors.
Instead of checking on them, he’d
drive to the top of the driveway, wave
to everyone and leave. What was supposed
to be nine months of construction
evolved into 18 months of high stress
and diminishing bank accounts. Despite
the setbacks and cost escalations, we
hung in there with full faith in our
builder.
Our lender was a
dream, extended our loans, and helped us
avoid bankruptcy. We eventually moved in
and thought the craziness was over. It
was just beginning. Our kids sailed
boats in the crawl space under the house
which had become a lake while decorative
columns rotted, and the deck sagged. We’d
call the builder, he’d send out Waving
Rich. A few things would be repaired,
just to fail a couple of years down the
road. We’d be told to caulk and paint
the entire house, which we did….THREE
TIMES.
My husband lost his
patience and became furious. We are both
people that believe in integrity and
standing behind your work. After
spending so much money, why was such a
young beautiful house riddled with
problems? A paper trail of letters and
emails ensued. Yet because we really
believed in and liked our builder, and
we are not litigious people, we never
pursued any legal intervention. Big
mistake on our part! |
that
our house is a “textbook case” of
improper construction, inappropriate
materials, and poor supervision during
the building stage. The gutters are too
small for the pitch of the roof and the
size of the home, there are no flashing
materials in evidence anywhere, the wood
used was pine or plywood instead of
cedar or redwood, some of the roof tiles
are not even nailed down. The experts
tell us that no matter how many times we
caulked, painted, or maintained, this
house was disintegrating before it was
even finished. This renowned builder
with the stellar reputation performed
miserably on this project.
We must liquidate our
retirement accounts to bear the burden
of these expenses. The new California
laws, forged by builders and the
insurance companies, absolve the
contractor of any responsibility after
ten years. In hindsight, we regret being
so kind. We regret having faith in the
builder. We regret believing in his
integrity and honesty to do the right
thing. We are paying a very high price
for maintaining what we thought was a
friendship between us.
Regret begets no
relief. The reality is we always have
and always will want to believe in the
goodness of people. We want to trust in
their word. We want to feel that those
we hire are honest and will do the job
as specified. We don’t want to sue
anyone. We want to build relationships
that linger.
Karma rules the world.
What goes around, comes around. Word of
mouth is always the best advertisement
or the worst sanction. What’s going to
happen? The optimist in me writes the
ending with the contractor visiting the
site, noticeably appalled by what has
happened to his masterpiece. Peter
resurrects his compassionate character
by correcting the mistakes of the subs.
He does the right thing. We compromise
on the costs. Everyone shakes hands and
the house becomes the home we had hoped
to build.
Another ending-like
Scarlett in Gone with the Wind, I’ll
think about that tomorrow. It probably
involves lawyers and the media which
means no one shakes hands or wins.
If you’ve
encountered a similar experience, I’d
love to hear how you handled it. Email
me at cynthia@NOSPAMstar-style.com
(Eliminate the words NO SPAM from the
email address before sending-this is to
keep away the web crawlers.) |
Until next month, keep a
positive outlook on life even when the
walls are falling down around you. I am!
And, remember when doing anything, DO IT
RIGHT, THE FIRST TIME!
Happy summer to all.
Starsmiles and blessings,
Cynthia
Brian
© 2005
Starstyle® Productions, LLC
PO Box 422
Moraga, Ca. 94556
www.star-style.com
To obtain rates or to book Cynthia
Brian as a speaker for your next
engagement, contact Mary Prewitt at Blue
Feather Management, toll free
888-797-6700 or email: Mary@bluefeathermanagement.com.
Biographical Sketch
Cynthia Brian, NY Times best
selling co-author of Chicken Soup for
the Gardener’s Soul , author of
Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for
Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning
to Make a Difference, The
Business of Show Business, and Miracle
Moments®., is an internationally
acclaimed key note speaker, personal
growth consultant, host of radio and TV
shows, syndicated columnist and acting
coach. Cynthia Brian is often referred
to by the media as “the Renaissance
woman with soul!" She is a world
traveler who speaks French, Spanish,
Italian, and Dutch. With nearly three
decades of experience working in the
entertainment field as an actor,
producer, writer, coach, designer, and
casting director, she has had the honor
of performing with some of the biggest
names in the industry. Cynthia is a
Certified Interior Designer and has had
her interior and garden design projects
featured in TV, commercials, books, and
numerous publications. She is the
Founder and CEO of the 501(c)(3)
charity, Be the Star You Are! empowering
families and youth at risk through
literacy and positive media. Her motto
is “To be a leader, you must be a
reader!” Ms. Brian is dedicated to
helping others achieve their dreams by
implementing their unique gifts and has
coached many aspiring thespians,
writers, and professionals to fame and
fortune.
| | |