The Flow of Grace
By Christine Hohlbaum
©2004

It is said that a clenched fist will not let anything out, but nor will
it let anything in. An open palm, however, can both let things go and
receive. The United Way caught onto this image, offering up open hands
in television commercials and on their logo. Cupped palms can hold many
things.

We learn at an early age that it is better to give than receive. As we
grow older, we learn that it is in the giving that we receive. This is a
story about how giving and receiving can affect many, many lives at once.

I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful radio and TV host, Cynthia
Brian. Her mission is manifold: supporting authors in their book
promotion efforts, developing a global literacy campaign to give the
world’s children the gift of the written word, and making the world
around her beautiful with her gardening books and interior design
abilities. Recently, she interviewed me for her radio program, Be the
Star You Are!™. The title alone convinced me that I had come to the
right place.

We enjoyed chatting about the writing life, about the importance of
literacy for children to expand their minds beyond the television set,
and how mothers, in particular, can be supported to follow their own dreams.

Several weeks later, we connected again via e-mail. Cynthia was
distraught about her radio program. She needed a new computer system for
the show to run, and her organization had run out of money. Her
19-year-old daughter had caught wind of her mother’s distress and sent
her a $100 check. Going to college full-time and working two jobs,
Cynthia’s daughter wanted her to know how important she thought her
mother’s mission was to teach children to read. With tears in her eyes,
she accepted her daughter’s generous gift.

I was so moved by Cynthia’s plight and by the generosity of her daughter
that I immediately sent her organization $50. I included her
organization in my next newsletter and posted it on all the message
boards to which I belong. Cynthia was very surprised by my response, and
it gave me such pleasure to help her with what little I could. What
happened next was even more incredible.

For seven months straight, I have been on an amazing journey of book
promotion. After meeting several inspiring women such as Cynthia, I
began to realize that my message was not about me or how great I thought
my work was, but about the notions that my writing entailed. People are
not alone in their struggles; we need to acknowledge each other; we all
hurt, heal, howl, and hyperventilate (some more than others!).
Witnessing Cynthia’s fiscal crunch only brought that awareness closer to
the fold.

Two days after sending her my donation, the most incredible things
occurred. I received a long-awaited book contract from a traditional
publisher for my second book, SAHM I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom; a
humor writer acknowledged my work and offered me a regular humor column
on her site, SanityCentral.com, which I had been eyeing for months; a
radio show host responded to my third request to appear on her show
within 20 minutes of making the request; and a Boston Globe magazine
journalist interviewed me for an upcoming feature article.

My head was spinning from all the things that seemed to happen
simultaneously. I had been working for months to contact these people,
and suddenly they were knocking on my door! How could that be?

There is a theory that when a butterfly flaps its wings in China, it
effects an earthquake in California. While my Ph.D. husband may question
the theory’s validity, the premise that we are interconnected holds true.
It appeared that the butterfly effect had taken root in our lives.

The very next day, Cynthia wrote me back to let me know that a
gentleman, whom she had met on an airplane a while ago, heard her speak
and offered to purchase the computer equipment she required! His name is
Dan Esbensen, Director of Research at Touch Technologies, Inc. He not
only offered to pay for the computer, but he personally flew up to San
Francisco to meet with Cynthia at his own expense. He took her with him
to select the computer system she wanted, installed it for her, and had
one of his top engineers train them on the new equipment. Because
Cynthia had been the warm, open, accepting person that she always is
when she first met him, Dan felt moved to help her in return. "He's not
just a butterfly, he is our star angel!" she said. She received a
generous gift because she had given so generously of herself. I refer to
this phenomenon as "inviting the flow".

Just like the clenched fist that is riddled with fear, we spend many of
our days locked in our shadowy self-made prisons of doubt, neglect, and
irrationality. When we let go and open our palms, we offer the fear a
way out of our lives. We let the sun shine on our hands, warming our
very insides and allowing us the opportunity to receive a bounty of
goodness and grace.

Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of Diary of a Mother:
Parenting Stories and Other Stuff, has been published in over
one hundred fifty publications. When she isn’t writing, leading toddler
playgroups or wiping up messes, she offers an on-line seminar for
authors to create a powerful marketing plan in her course, "How to
Market Your Book" (http://www.MomsInPrint.com/writing.html). She resides
near Munich with her husband and two children. Visit her Web site:
www.diaryofamother.com .